Missing scenes
by sk1601
Summary: Some missing scenes from series 3 and 4 from Naomi's episode onwards . My first attempt at writing. Depending on the response, I may continue these. Please read and review, any feedback is welcomed. Rating has been changed.
1. Chapter 1

**This is my first ever attempt at writing something so any reviews / constructive criticism are welcome, I am by no means a writer but decided to have a go at producing something. Basically this is a missing scene from Naomi's episode in series 3 - I just think that more went on during the night Emily stayed at Naomi's than we were led to believe.**

It was getting late. I looked at my watch and yawned. 1.15am.

"I think I'd better get going, it being a school night and all."

"Don't. You can stay," she said firmly. I propped myself up onto my elbow, quickly catching her eye then glanced towards the bed and back to her again. She had noticed my not so subtle stare and frowned. "We're friends. Friends stay over at one another's houses. You have one side of the bed, I have the other. After all, you like spending time with me, just when I'm not being such a cunt."

I laughed as she threw my words back to me. "Okay. I'll text Katie and tell her I'm safe. Not that she'll worry, she'll be too busy catching her beauty sleep. You'd better not fucking snore though. If you do, I'm off."

She made a face as she pulled herself up from the floor and stepped over me to the chest of drawers. "Well now that's sorted, I think it's time to call it a night. Bathroom's just there if you want to get changed." She opened the top drawer and threw me a vest and shorts.

I tiptoed to the bathroom, careful not to wake the houseful of strange people. My eyes looked tired in the mirror; eyeliner was smudged around the edges of them. I guess we had spent quite a lot of the night laughing. As I recalled some of the conversations I could not help a smile spread across my face. "Oils". My smile got bigger. The light bulb suddenly flickered and drew me from my dream back to where I was, staring at my tired reflection in a dimly lit bathroom. Yawning once more, I pulled myself away from the mirror and quickly got changed into the clothes Naomi had given me. Again I tiptoed back to her room, opening the door gently. The lights were out, but the moonlight from the window enabled me to see her. She was already in bed, on the right hand side facing towards the wall. Probably sleeping I thought. I slowly walked towards the left side of the bed and timidly pulled back the covers, easing myself in and being careful to keep a distance from her. Lying on my side, I looked at the soft skin of her neck, knowing I'd give anything just to touch her or kiss her there. I let out a sigh, resigning myself to the fact that this was as close as I'd get to her and that our recent kiss was down to the drugs.

"Ems?" She startled me, I didn't realise she was still awake. I had imagined she was well into a vodka induced slumber by now. I guess we were a little more sober than we realised.

"Yeah?"

"Do you ever feel like you can't talk to people?" This took me by surprise. I had no idea what she meant.

"About what?"

"I dunno. Stuff, you know...you. You being you." She rolled over and was facing me. Her blue eyes were wide and she looked past me, unable to keep my eye. I could tell she felt uncomfortable.

"Naomi, I don't need to talk to people or tell people. I think I know who I am. It's not something I have power over, it's just happening. But I'm okay with it. Doesn't mean that I'm not scared at times though. Why are you asking this?" She drew her gaze to me, staring me in the eye now.

"I think, well..." she sighed. "I don't talk to people because I know that if I don't let people in, then I can't get hurt again." Her expression looked pained. She looked vulnerable and I didn't like seeing her this way. Instinctively, I reached across and put my hand over hers.

"That's sad Naomi." She nodded and closed her eyes. I didn't want to say anymore, she had opened up to me tonight more than I ever thought she would.

We lay with my hand over hers in silence for what seemed like an eternity, in reality it was probably only a few minutes. Her hand suddenly moved from underneath mine and reached behind my neck, pulling me towards her for a hug. Immediately, I slid my arms around her and held her body close to mine, her head resting just below mine. I could feel her breath against my neck and her eye lashes flicker against my cheek. This was torture, I had the girl that I've obsessed over, barely clothed clinging to me in her bed. My mind was going into overdrive and it took all my willpower to just hold her and not let my desire take over. I kept my arms steady on her back, resting against the thin material of her t-shirt. I was sure she'd be able to hear my heart thudding in my chest, and would soon jump back from me in repulsion when she realised my thoughts. After all, we were just friends.

Her breath against my neck started to feel warmer, as if her lips were closer to my skin. Her eyelashes trailed up my cheek and I could feel her breath shift from my neck to the corner of my mouth. I tried to keep still, I felt excited and terrified at the same time. My hands tightened slightly on the back of her t-shirt. Her lips were now touching my face, the faintest of touches. If I turned my head slightly her lips would brush against my own. I wanted more than anything to do that, but I could not bear the rejection. It seemed like she wanted this, it was confusing me. Her hand shifted from behind my neck and cupped my face, tilting it until my lips met hers softly. I lay there motionless, not quite sure what to do until I felt her soft lips press against mine again, this time firmer. My arms pulled her closer towards me, rolling us so that I was now on my back and she was lying on me slightly. We kissed slowly, gently.

"Naomi..." I whispered against her lips. She lifted her head slightly, looking me in the eye, appearing broken, needing reassurance. Her eyes clamped shut and she met me with a kiss, this time more forceful and eager, pushing my mouth open with her tongue. Her tongue was soft and hot. She traced along my top lip with the tip of it and then teasingly massaged the roof of my mouth. At that moment, I felt like I was on fire, my body was telling me I wanted this. I moaned and pulled her further onto me, parting my legs so she could lie between them. My hands began to wander underneath the hem of her t-shirt, tracing over the skin of her back. Our kissing was increasingly frantic, a mess of lips and tongues crashing together in desperation, and I felt like I could lose control. One of her hands was digging into my hip. She released her grip and gently slid it along my side underneath my vest top. I could feel my skin tingle under her touch. My breathing was becoming heavy in anticipation of her reaching my breast. This was the most intimate I'd ever been with someone. That's when I knew this was too much; I needed to regain control before she did something she regretted.

"Naomi." I said again, this time forcing my mouth away from hers. "Maybe we should sleep." Sleep was the last thing I wanted to do, but I knew it was the right thing to do. She looked me in the eyes and her expression told me that she agreed. I placed a delicate kiss to her mouth and then pulled her tightly into me, kissing her forehead. I could feel her shaking slightly in my arms. "Sssh, it's okay," I tried to soothe her. After a while, her breathing became more shallow and I realised she was asleep. "Please let me in." I whispered, not yet realising that we would be further apart than ever when I woke in the morning.


	2. Chapter 2

**Thank you to anyone who read the first chapter, and especially to those that reviewed. I will try to continue writing these. Any feedback will be appreciated and advice welcomed - as I say, I have never written before.**

**This scene takes place after the woods and follows Emily after she woke up to find Naomi leaving.**

I didn't want to get out of bed. Ever. Although I couldn't actually sleep. Every time I closed my eyes all I could see were images of her. Naomi leaning forward and kissing me. Naomi pushing me to the ground. Naomi breathing heavily underneath my touch, gripping onto my shoulders as pleasure shook through her body. These should all be happy memories, I had just shared the most intimate experience of my life with the girl I was falling for, but they were all tainted with memories I don't want to have. Waking up alone, on a blanket in the woods, watching Naomi run from me. My voice cracking as I told her how I felt about her. Naomi not once turning to look me in the eye. Walking home from the woods, tears stinging in my eyes.

I got home three hours ago, it was around 6am. Fortunately Katie was still asleep which meant I didn't need to fumble for an explanation to my whereabouts just yet. I pulled back the covers from my bed and got in, fully clothed. I didn't want to shower, I could feel her touch on my skin and as bittersweet as that memory currently was, I wasn't ready to erase it yet. Turning onto my side, I faced the wall. The events of the previous night kept replaying in my mind. Tears started dripping down my face. I was struggling to understand how I could go from the absolute ecstasy of last night, to the pain and heartache of this morning. I felt safe last night. Wanted, loved almost.

Naomi had initiated everything, the kiss, lying me down, uncovering my skin until I was overtaken with lust, unable to hold back. I felt a sense of achievement in satisfying her, though it was something I'd often dreamt about, I still was incredibly nervous. I vividly remember a breathless Naomi pulling me back up towards her after she'd climaxed and crashing her lips towards mine in appreciation, before showing me that she was eager to reciprocate. After we'd made love, Naomi and I got dressed as it was cold, and cuddled together on the blanket, finishing the remaining vodka. We sat in silence, but it was a comfortable silence. It felt perfect, and that's how I wanted my first time with anyone to be. Just perfect. We fell asleep with each other; Naomi wrapped her frame protectively around me from behind and pulled me close to her with her arm over my body. She kept me warm. It just felt right. It felt like she was finally letting me past the walls she had become so good at building up. Everything was very different this morning.

I heard Katie stirring, so I hurriedly wiped my eyes and rolled over to face her.

"Morning Ems. Like, where the fuck were you last night?" How I loved Katie's tone in the morning.

"We had to pull an all-nighter to finish off some coursework, at Panda's." I said, hoping Katie would buy it. She nodded, I think it worked. I really couldn't face Katie upsetting me today.

"Jesus Ems, I thought that for once you were maybe staying out all night to have a little fun. Like, you'd finally pulled and were getting laid. But no, you were at it all night, studying." I sighed, if only she'd known the truth.

"We don't all think like you Katie. Some of us want to get decent grades you know." I frowned as I said this to her.

"Like I give a fuck. Any way Ems, you should see the state of you, you look like shit. Have you heard of a shower? Are you even going to college today, wouldn't want you missing out now."

I scowled at her as I climbed out of bed and headed towards the shower. I locked the bathroom door and turned to switch on the shower. Katie was right, I did look awful, and my reflection in the mirror confirmed this. My eyes were puffy and red, my lips looked slightly swollen. Don't get me started on my hair. My clothes were quickly tossed to the side and I climbed into the shower, letting the warm water run over my body. The water slowly washed away all the traces of where she had touched and kissed me, but it wasn't enough. She was still on me. I just couldn't get her out of my head. I suddenly felt angry with myself, angry that I'd been so weak and given in to lust, without thought of the repercussions. Angry that I'd given myself to her, angry that I wanted her, that I still wanted her. Angry that I'd lost my virginity to her and this was to be my memory of it. Tears and pain, together with rejection. I scrunched my eyes shut, hoping this feeling would go away.

I couldn't stay angry at her though. How could I stay angry at _her_? You can't be angry at the person you are falling in love with. My heart swells every time I look at her. Every time she bites her bottom lip when she's nervous or the way she rolls her eyes in frustration at Cook and his moronic behaviour. The way she looked at me last night before she kissed me. Her blue eyes fixing upon mine as she kissed her way down my body. Just how could I be angry at her?

I heard a loud bang at the door. "Emsy, get out the shower, I need in the bathroom you selfish bitch!" I must have been in there a lot longer than I thought. I clambered out of the shower and wrapped myself in a towel. The prospect of college did not fill me with joy. She would be unavoidable today with the election announcement. I just wanted to slink back into my bed and stay hidden from the world for a while. Another loud bang on the door brought me back to reality and I trudged towards my room to get ready to face the day ahead.


	3. Chapter 3

**Thank you again to anyone who has read and reviewed these. **

**This scene is from after the love ball. I wanted to write something inbetween Naomi's episode about Emily sleeping with JJ and that camping trip in the woods but this came to me first. I probably will go back and write something between.**

**Any reviews are welcomed.**

We were walking back to Naomi's house hand in hand. I didn't think things could get any better. Naomi had finally stood up for me, stood up for us in front of everyone, showing that she'd let me past those walls. And she told me that she loved me. She was in love with me. I couldn't help myself smiling and gripping her hand even tighter.

"Ems, I really want to sleep with you." Naomi stated, matter-of-factly, turning to look at me. I almost choked.

"A little bit direct Naomi, don't you think?" I said, looking her in the eye, my lips curving into a mischievous smile.

"Ha, no I don't mean in that sense. Well I do, you know I do, but what I actually meant was that I want to sleep beside you. Fall asleep with you; wake up next to you in the morning. I just want to wake up with you." She was being too cute. I don't think I'd ever described Naomi Campbell as cute before, but she certainly was at this moment. Unfortunately for her, I was feeling a little playful.

"Well babe, we have fallen asleep together. It's just the waking up part that you need to master." I winked at her. Her face fell and I immediately started to feel a little guilty for that coming out of my mouth.

"Ems, I'm sorry. You've no idea how much of a prick I feel about that. You must have fucking hated me at times." She stopped suddenly and grabbed my hand pulling me towards her, bringing our faces together so our foreheads met. "I am sorry. So sorry. I regret those mornings so much." She placed a gentle kiss to my lips and brought her free hand up to my face, her fingers slowly tracing along my cheek.

"I know you're sorry. It's in the past now, I was just messing around. Besides, you've just came out to the entire college for me. I think I can forgive you. And you do love me." I kissed her on the cheek and turned to continue walking, tugging her alongside me.

"Right now, I don't care about anyone else. I don't care what the whole fucking college thinks or the whole universe for that matter. You make me happy Emily." She said that last sentence so calmly. This was a very different Naomi. This was a Naomi who was being brave, letting me in, wanting me back. My heart almost melted.

We eventually reached her front door and Naomi fumbled in her bag for her keys. I stood on the door step grinning like an idiot, not quite sure whether the events of the past few hours had actually taken place or I'd just dreamt them. Naomi found her key and opened the door. She quickly turned back to me and kissed my forehead before taking my hand and leading me inside. The house was in darkness and Naomi pressed her finger to my lips indicating that we had to be quiet. "Mum's sleeping." She whispered. Naomi turned around and led me up the staircase towards her bedroom.

She pushed the door open and flicked on the lights. I glanced around the room and memories started filling my head. It was only a few days since we'd had incredibly frantic, heated sex in this room. It didn't take us long to make our way back here after Naomi had forcefully pushed me against the lockers at college and kissed me so intensely. In fact, I think we pretty much ran here, neither of us speaking throughout the whole journey. I recalled clothes being thrown all over the room, hands recklessly roaming over bodies, both of us desperately craving a release. Neither of us lasted very long to be honest. Of course, _that_ argument followed our moment of lust.

That was in the past. Tonight was a very different scene. Naomi walked towards her bed and sat on the end, patting the space next to her, gesturing that I was to sit there beside her. She looked at me and her eyes glistened. She really was beautiful. Her blonde hair curled loosely just above her shoulders. She should wear her hair like that more often I thought. I walked over and sat next to her. Naomi lifted my hand and locked her fingers with mine, gently circling her thumb over the back of my hand. She turned her head and looked at me.

"Ems, I do mean it you know." With her other hand, she gently tucked some loose strands of hair behind my ear.

"I do know, I really do. That stuff with JJ, I hope you understand it's not what it seems like. I didn't want to keep it from you but..." Naomi suddenly leaned into me and cut me off with a soft kiss.

"It's in the past. Let's leave it. This is us, a fresh start. A proper start. What do you say?" I didn't need words to answer that, I leaned back into her and pressed my lips to hers.

"I love you too." I breathed against her.

My phone beeped rather noisily and took us away from the moment we had just shared. My bag was just in front of me on the floor. I reached forward to pick it up and took my phone from it. I had a text message from Katie:

_I'll cover for you tonight. Seems like you and Naomi need some time with each other. Speak to you tomorrow. Katie xxx_

"It's just Katie. She says she'll cover so I can stay here."

"Looks like that rock from Effy has maybe knocked some niceness into her." Naomi said jokingly.

"Not funny." I retorted, sticking my tongue out at her.

"She is right though. I think we do need to spend some time together." Naomi leaned into me again and cupped my face with both her hands before taking my bottom lip between her soft lips. I sighed into the kiss and placed my hands firmly onto her shoulders and running them down her arms. I needed to feel more of her. To feel her body against mine. I stood up breaking away from the kiss and started to get undressed. Naomi seemed confused at first but then stood up and started to undress herself, following my lead. I walked over to the left side of the bed, pulled back the covers and climbed in. Moments later, Naomi did the same on the right side. We lay facing each other for a few seconds before Naomi confidently pulled me towards her, wrapping her arms around my frame. I gasped as I felt her naked body pressed tightly against me. I pulled my head back from her and kissed her lips hungrily, pushing my tongue into her mouth.

...

Naomi was above me, her hips in between my legs. Her mouth pressing hot open kisses to my neck, every so often tracing circles with her tongue and tasting my skin. Every time she did this I would shiver in ecstasy under the warmth of her smooth tongue. I could feel her fingers moving strongly inside me, pleasure was building within my body. Her left hand had forced my right arm above my head, gripping onto my right hand, holding it tightly against the mattress. I was breathing very heavily, moaning and whimpering, about to succumb to the wave that was beginning to ripple through me. I suddenly froze. My whole body became stiff. My heavy breaths stopped. The faint moans silent. I knew what was wrong. I'd been trying all night to push those insecurities to the back of my mind, hoping that the morning would prove I'd been worrying needlessly.

Naomi felt me stiffen underneath her, she stopped too. She knew what was wrong. She lifted her head from my neck and looked me in the eyes.

"Emily, I will be here when you wake up. I mean it. I'm so sure of us together. I love you." She pressed a reassuring kiss to my mouth. I began to relax again and she returned her mouth to my neck, tracing a line with her tongue up towards my ear. She whispered to me, "Just let go babe, you're with me."

Within moments the most intense orgasm of my life shuddered through my body. I must have been more audible than I imagined as Naomi had to silence me with a kiss. Not that I could respond to the kiss, I doubt I could even remember my name at that point. My face was hot and I could feel beads of sweat on my forehead. Naomi removed her lips from mine and placed gentle loving kisses all over my face as I came down from my high. She leaned back from me slightly and I opened my eyes to a satisfied smile. "That is the hottest fucking thing ever, watching you come."

Naomi rolled onto her side and pulled my body into hers, spooning me. Her arms reached over and she locked her fingers with mine. I was exhausted, I'm pretty certain she was too. Naomi placed a gentle kiss to the back of my neck and it wasn't long before sleep overtook us both.

...

That familiar panel of early morning sunlight stretched across the room and awoke me from my slumber. Despite my tiredness, I managed to smile. Naomi was still protectively wrapped around me. I turned in her arms and faced her. This was new to me; I'd never watched her sleep before. She was breathing gently, her mouth slightly open at the corner; her hair had fallen slightly around her face. She really was beautiful. I'd never felt this happy.


	4. Chapter 4

**Thank you to anyone who has reviewed this story. All feedback is gratefully received as I have never really written before. **

**This follows immediately from the last chapter, taking place the morning after the love ball. **

I must have fallen back asleep. I woke up for the second time that morning after feeling Naomi's lips against my forehead and the pad of her thumb running softly along my cheek. My lips curved at the end into a smile as I slowly opened my eyes.

"Morning." She whispered against my skin before pulling her face away from mine, lying on her side, facing me.

"Morning right back." I said, trying to disguise a slight yawn.

"Sleep okay?" She asked whilst tracing her thumb along my jaw and back up toward my cheek, her eyes following her wandering thumb.

"Yeah. Yeah I slept well thanks. You?"

"No." She snapped her eyes back to mine, giving me an evil glare. "You snore."

"Bitch, I do not!" I said laughing.

"I'm afraid you do babe. Don't worry though, I found it quite cute. You also do this thing where you scrunch your whole face up then sigh before doing it again. It get's quite funny after a while."

"You were watching me sleep. That's quite stalker-ish you know." I stuck my tongue out at her.

"Yeah well, what you going to do?" She said with a sigh, pretending to be hurt.

I leaned forward and placed a chaste kiss to her lips. "This." I smiled before returning to face her again.

"You should see your hair. You have total bed-head. It's nice though. Kind of makes you look like the not-so-innocent Emily Fitch. Makes you look like the real you. You know the one that I only I get to see." She winked at me as she said that.

I could feel my cheeks flushing, feeling slightly embarrassed as I recalled one of the rather heated moments that took place between us only hours before. A moment where I had perhaps become rather too vocal. Suddenly I felt really self-conscious and pulled the covers tighter to me that I didn't feel so exposed. Naomi noticed.

"Babe. You're with me remember. Just me." She said softly, making me feel at ease again. Her fingers had moved to my neck and she was lightly running them over the skin. Her eyes were fixated on them, as if she wanted to memorise everywhere her fingers touched. Her eyes were brighter than I'd ever seen them; they sparkled in the early morning sun. The curls of her hair had fallen slightly since last night, but they still looked great, hanging softly around her face. Naomi was beautiful.

"I like your hair like that. It's so soft. Really suits you. In fact it matches this new soft side to Naomi Campbell that I've been experiencing over the past few hours." I winked at her. Now it was her turn to feel slightly uncomfortable.

"Let's get one thing straight Ems." She laughed at the bad pun. "This soft side is for you only. I'm still going to be a bitch to everyone else." We both started laughing, knowing that was probably true. It was amazing how comfortable everything felt.

"Yeah well, you've still got the whole summer before college starts again, I'm sure you'll manage to perfect your bitchy streak before then." She laughed again.

"So what are your plans for the summer then? I won't be going to Cyprus myself since I don't need to do all that thinking by myself now. I never did get to hear your plans."

"Well I'd like to think I'll spend quite a lot of it in this bed recreating various moments from last night." I said feeling rather confident. Naomi licked her lips and grinned. "And unfortunately, I've got the annual Fitch family holiday to France."

"That sounds fucking awful." She said screwing her face up in disapproval.

"Oh it is. Mum and Dad either spend it loved up or at each other's throats, I'm not sure which is worse. Katie will be off shagging some random bloke she's just met and pretending she's in love. Whereas James spends most of his time trying to peer through keyholes in hope of catching a girl without her bra on. I think I might spend most of the holiday with James this year."

Naomi playfully slapped me on the arm. "Bitch."

"You are more than enough Naomi, trust me." I said closing the distance between us and meeting her lips with a kiss. I leant back again and smiled at her.

"So what are you up to today?"

"I was kinda hoping we could stay here Ems, just spend some time together. Do you want to?"

"Of course I do. Just I'll need to go home and face the music at some point. I'm not entirely sure what Katie will have told mum about last night. I pretty much told them all I was gay and my mother has got it into her head that it's just some phase. It's a bit fucking frustrating."

"I know Em." She gave me a comforting look before tucking a strand of hair behind my ear.

"What about your mum?" I asked raising an eyebrow, unsure of whether this was pushing this newly open Naomi slightly too far.

"She knows about you Emily. I told her. In fact she was the one that made me see sense and come to get you last night. She's probably standing right outside that fucking door just now listening to see what happened." She grinned at me. I smiled back at her.

"Well on that note, I have to say I like your mum. Maybe I don't have to go home right away. I could spend the day here with you. Besides, Katie owes me after her escapades over the past few days. She also owes you an apology big time."

"Let's leave it for now babe. I don't give a fuck about anyone else right now."

"So Campbell. When are you bringing me breakfast in bed? Or at least a cup of tea. I'm not sure if you remember but my energy levels are seriously lacking after some rather strenuous activity last night."

Naomi laughed. "Alright, alright. I'll go make tea." She pulled herself up and turned around. The covers had fallen and her bare back was on show. I could see the slight curve of her breast as she stretched and yawned.

"Naomi?"

"Yeah, yeah I'm going." She said as she started to stand.

"No it's not that. Just I think my energy levels are better than expected, perhaps I've still got a little too much energy." She turned round to face me, lowering herself back towards the bed. I reached up and put my hand around her neck, bringing her lips crashing down onto mine.

What a wonderful way to spend the morning.


	5. Chapter 5

**Thanks to all who have read and reviewed. I would appreciate more reviews - unsure whether to continue this or what direction to take it in. Suggestions welcomed!**

**This follows directly from the previous chapter. Emily left Naomi's in the morning and went to face the music at home. **

I trudged through the rain toward the gate of that familiar yellow house. It was fucking miserable outside, totally pouring down. It did reflect the way I currently felt. Taking a deep breath, I walked up to the front door and knocked firmly. Through the glass I could see a person with white-blonde hair dancing excitedly towards the door and opening it. Relief flooded through me as I realised it was my blonde who had answered. She greeted me with a huge grin which fell completely when she seen my expression.

"Ems babe, what's wrong?" She pulled me towards her and kicked the door shut behind me.

"My fucking family." I didn't need to say anything else, I wasn't able to. I sobbed into her shoulder and all my emotion started to pour out. She held me tight to her, protectively wrapping her arms around me and kissed the top of my head. She whispered gently, trying to soothe me. Tears ran freely down my cheeks and I gasped for breath between sobs. I started to shiver.

"Emily your clothes are soaked through and you're going to end up ill unless we get you into some dry clothes." I nodded against her and broke away from her embrace. She took my hand and lightly pulled me upstairs towards the bathroom. She opened the door and I followed her inside. My coat was unzipped and tossed to the floor. Naomi slowly helped me out of the rest of my wet clothes before taking a large towel from the shelf and wrapping me in it. She gently pushed me back and instructed me to sit on the edge of the bath before kneeling down in front of me. Her fingers pushed loose strands of damp hair behind my ears before they rested just underneath my jaw, tilting my face slightly so that I was looking into her eyes.

"Better?" She asked softly. I nodded in response, giving a slight smile. I could taste the salty tears that had run down towards my mouth. Naomi leant up slightly and kissed each side of my face, before brushing away my tears with her thumbs. Her kind blue eyes remained fixed upon mine. "Come on." She stood up and extended her hand to me. I took her hand and she led me towards her room.

Naomi opened the door and instructed me to sit on the bed. She walked over to the chest of drawers and rummaged around, looking for some clothes. "I think these should do." She said as she handed me a blue hooded sweatshirt and a pair of jeans that had been cut off just above the knee. "Put these on babe, I'll be back in a few minutes." Naomi smiled at me and disappeared from the room. I removed the towel from my naked body, quickly making sure I had dried and then pulled on Naomi's clothes. They were far too big on me, but I found them comforting; I could smell her on them. I looked around the room and noticed that Naomi now had a TV in the corner, I walked over and switched it on before sitting back down on her bed.

Naomi appeared at the door with two cups of tea in her hands. "Mum got me it this afternoon. One of those fucking weirdos that she'd kicked out had stolen my last one." Naomi walked over and sat next to me on the bed, handing me one of the cups.

"Thanks." I said, finally able to speak.

"No problem. From this morning, I now realise how important tea is to you." She smiled warmly at me, then looked ahead to the TV.

"No, I mean thanks for being so kind." I could feel my lip begin to quiver again, so I took a deep breath and closed my eyes in an attempt to keep myself calm.

"Drink your tea Ems, we can talk when you feel ready." She put her arm around my shoulder and gave me a gentle reassuring squeeze.

...

Half an hour of mundane Saturday night TV had passed. We were lying fully on Naomi's bed, my head was rested against her chest. One of her hands was running through my now dry hair and her other arm was wrapped around me.

"I told my parents about us. Properly." I could hear her sigh underneath me. I don't think I needed to tell her that part, she knew that's why I was so upset.

"I'm guessing that it didn't go very well."

"I wasn't expecting it to. I mean I knew mum wasn't exactly thrilled with the prospect of a gay daughter but she just wouldn't take me seriously. Insisted that I was too young to know what or who I wanted and this 'silly phase' as she called it would pass." I wasn't tearful anymore, I was more angry.

Naomi lent down and placed a soft kiss on my head. "Your mother thinks I'm a bad influence on you, she told me herself."

I sat up suddenly, not quite sure of what Naomi had just said. "What? When did you speak to her?"

"A couple of days ago. I came round to speak to you the morning after we'd argued. I wanted to apologise but your mother wouldn't let me see you and she pretty much warned me off you." I felt shocked at hearing this.

"Fucking hell Naomi, why didn't you tell me? I can't believe she did that." I was even more angry now. Naomi bit her lip and shut her eyes.

"Shit, I'm sorry Ems. I should have told you"

"No. Don't you apologise for her." I leaned in and kissed her gently on the lips. I pulled away and sat up next to her. She opened her eyes.

"What did Katie say?"

"She was actually quite supportive and tried to calm mum down. I was surprised. My dad seemed okay too, though he didn't really say much. Mum was being a complete prick. She made me feel so fucking small." Naomi could hear the anger in my voice.

"Don't let her get to you. Give it some time. Fuck everyone else. I don't want them to ruin what we could have. What we do have." Naomi sat up and gave me a warm smile before kissing me on the cheek.

"Yeah." I sighed. "Plus, I'm certain you don't want to spend all your time with me a blubbering mess."

"Ha, well now that you mention it Ems. By the way do you know how hard it was for me to strip all those wet clothes from you without actually wanting to do rude things. I'm gonna be rewarded in heaven big time for that one." She laughed and pressed our foreheads together.

"Thank you for your kindness." I cupped her cheek.

"Anytime Fitch." She smiled underneath my touch.

"I'm dreading going back home tonight. I think I'll wait until they're all sleeping."

"Don't go back." Naomi stated firmly. "Stay here with me. Mum's away this weekend with her current shag and I could do with the company. Plus, we've got the house all to ourselves." Naomi leaned in towards my ear. "You can be as loud as you want." She sat back and winked at me before grinning wickedly.

"Well in that case, staying here sounds perfect."


	6. Chapter 6

**Thanks to all who have read and reviewed so far. **

**This takes place a few weeks into the summer. I know that there's a novel about what happened during the summer but I've not read and am ignoring, so I'm not quite sure if this is true to life!**

I awoke to the sound of the TV. Sunday morning breakfast programmes. Jesus, did the newsreader just say it was 7a.m.? I rubbed my eyes and turned onto my back. Naomi was sitting up next to me with a cup of tea in her hands, eyes narrowing in concentration. This was becoming our Sunday morning routine.

The past few weeks had been blissful, well, the majority of it had been. I'd spent quite a lot of time at Naomi's, usually staying over for full weekends, sometimes the odd night during the week. My mum was now in a stage of feigning ignorance over my relationship with Naomi, I found it easier to just avoid her. Naomi had been fantastic throughout it all, putting up with my tears and reassuring me with her love and affection. We'd spend entire nights talking to each other, more often than not about nothing, but both happy just to be in each other's company. Sometimes we talked right through the night, not actually getting any sleep. Her mum Gina had been brilliant too; she made me feel more than welcome in her home and made it clear that I could stay whenever I wanted to.

"Naomi. It's 7 fucking a.m. on a Sunday morning. Why are you awake? Must you have that bloody thing so loud?" I was grumpy; I liked a lie in on a Sunday. Naomi knew this. It was a game to her, she liked to wind me up. She turned and glared at me.

"Morning to you too darling." Sarcastic bitch. "I couldn't sleep so I made a cup of tea and put the news on. Ems you're a grumpy bastard this morning."

"Naomi, darling, I have no idea what time we went to sleep, but I know it was late. Very late. I'm also pretty certain you woke me throughout the night talking in your sleep. I feel like I've had fuck all sleep. You babbled on for ages and ignored every dig to your ribs." I turned back around.

"Ha, honeymoon period is over already then." She said with a laugh.

"Not yet, but it will be if you don't turn down that fucking TV," I retorted.

I heard Naomi switch the TV off. She lay back down and shuffled up behind me then wrapped her arms around me. I could feel her lips lightly press into the exposed skin of my neck.

"You may be a grumpy bastard, but you're my grumpy bastard," she whispered against me.

"Cheese alert Campbell. You're seriously going soft." I reached up and placed my hands over hers, linking her fingers with mine, letting her know I was joking.

"Oh, I was just trying to be nice."

"I know babe, it would be a lot nicer though if you could actually sleep in on a Sunday for a change," I said giving one of her hands a gentle squeeze. She kissed my neck again.

"Ems, you were tossing and turning quite a lot in your sleep. You've got to relax a bit. I know things with your family are getting to you. I just don't like seeing you upset." I could feel her pull me closer to her.

"I know. Give it time like you said." I tried to hide a yawn.

"Okay. It's going to be a beautiful day so I'm suggesting that we go back to sleep for a few more hours, get up and make ourselves presentable then go somewhere. We can't stay locked in here forever, as much fun as it has been. You in?"

"Yes Miss Campbell," I said yawning, making no attempt to hide it this time.

"Say that again, I like the sound of it," she said cheekily.

"Naomi. Sleep. Now."

...

When I woke for the second time I was alone and could hear the shower running. Naomi must've got up and left me to sleep a little longer. I climbed out of bed and wandered towards the bathroom, knocking the door gently as I opened it. The silhouette of my beautiful blonde behind the shower curtain was almost clear enough to see her smooth curves, though I had to get a better look. I removed my clothes quickly and pulled back the shower curtain, stepping into the cubicle with her.

"Well you're in a better mood," Naomi said as she turned to face me with a smile.

I immediately pushed her shoulders against the wall, catching her by surprise and started kissing my way up her neck. Water began to run all over my body. Naomi's hands buried themselves in my hair. I pushed my hips strongly into hers.

"Jesus Ems," she gasped.

"I want you now," I breathed into her neck. My hands slid down her shoulders, across the soft skin of her breasts and came to rest on her stomach. Her hands were clutching tighter at my hair. I pulled my head away from her neck and met her eyes with mine. They were dark with desire. Lust filled. She was breathless already; I loved that I could have this effect on her.

...

Katie had text me earlier in the day begging me to come along to the pub for an all day drinking session. Everyone would be there apart from Effy; she had disappeared with her mum not long after she returned with Cook, Freddie and JJ. None of them knew where she'd gone to and no one had heard from her. To be honest, no one knows exactly what went on when she had run away with Cook. The boys don't talk about it.

I pushed open the heavy doors of Keith's pub and glanced around the room. They were sitting in the corner, apart from Cook who was leaning against the bar, looking a little worse for wear. Naomi walked over to him and I joined the others. Freddie and JJ were in an animated conversation about god knows what, Pandora and Thomas were sitting closely together, talking in whispers, and Katie sat sulking in the corner.

"Thank fuck you're here Ems, I was bored out of my tits with this lot. Hardly entertaining." Katie smiled at me. I actually missed not spending as much time with her.

"Finally managed to crawl out of your love nest Emsy? Where the fuck is your lezzer friend?" I take that last comment back, maybe I don't miss her as much.

"Fuck off Katie. You know it's not great for me to be at home so much just now. You have no idea how much I'm dreading this holiday. Spending a full week in the company of mum. Urgh." I glared at Katie. In all honesty, I was looking forward to spending time with her and James, Dad too. Mum was still being a prick so I was hoping to keep out of her way. The worst thing about this holiday was the thought of being away from Naomi for a full week. I looked over to the bar and watched Cook drape his arm around her and force shots into her hand. She looked over at me and smiled weakly, I knew she was going to end up pissed.

"Right, who's for shots?" Cook bellowed towards the table.

...

Several hours and several drinks later I was walking home with Naomi. I was walking, Naomi could barely fucking stand. She was pissed. Her legs were like jelly and she'd been talking incoherent nonsense to me whilst I tried to support her with my arm. Cook set it upon himself to get Naomi seriously drunk. She was not a willing participant at first but in the end she gave in and tried to drink her bodyweight in vodka. I'd had a few but was far away from the state of my blonde. We were almost at her house. The short walk had taken us almost three times as long as normal.

"Ems, I'll miss you when you're away. Totally not looking forward to Tuesday. Nope, not. Cunts. Taking my Ems away on holiday when she should be with me. Cunts."

"I'll miss you too babe. But I'll call you every day. It's only a week. It'll go in quickly." I said as I dragged her up the garden path.

"A week! Ems, that's like seven days. Seven whole days I won't see you. I won't get to wake up with you or sleep with you. A fucking week!"

I had the front door open now and pushed Naomi in front of me, whispering that she had to be quiet as she ranted on about how no one understood how long a week was. She was fucking heavy and struggled to remember how to use stairs. After what seemed like I'd pushed her up a mountain, we reached her room. Naomi stumbled through the door and fell on to her bed.

"Ems, come here." She motioned towards me with her arm. I sat down next to her and she roughly dragged me down into a hug.

"Easy Naomi. No need to rugby tackle me," I said as I looked into her eyes adoringly.

"You know what Ems. I'm gonna miss you. You better call me every day." She was whispering now, her eye lids becoming heavy, almost closed. I leaned forward and kissed her forehead.

"I will. Twice every day. Now, get some sleep babe. I have a feeling you won't be waking me up early tomorrow morning with breakfast TV," I laughed as I pulled her tighter.


	7. Chapter 7

**Thanks to anyone who has read and reviewed, please keep doing so.**

**Emily is on holiday in France. I struggled to write this one, feel like I'm running out of momentum. Anyway...**

Day four of this holiday. The halfway point. The end of the week was in sight. In all honesty, it wasn't that bad. We were staying in a beautiful villa in the south of France with a private pool and gorgeous views. The villa was huge, like seriously it could have been on MTV. The best part was that I got my own room, of course that didn't stop Katie coming in every five minutes to annoy me or steal some of my clothes claiming they looked better on her. I didn't bother arguing with her, it wasn't worth the energy. Mum wasn't being a complete bitch either, I'd actually enjoyed spending some time with her, although she did screw her face up slightly every time Naomi's name was mentioned. Dad spent most of the time playing in the pool with James. It was peaceful, I felt like I was part of this family again. It was nice just to spend time as a family again. So yes, I guess things could have been worse.

I'd spent most of the afternoon lying at the pool reading a book and trying to get a tan. I had my mobile phone next to me and checked it religiously every five minutes. This had become a bit of a habit of mine over the past few days. I missed her like crazy. I kept thinking how great it would be to have her here with me; spending lazy days together in the sun and watching the beautiful sunsets together at night. It would be amazing to experience a sunset with her, whether that be in Bristol, the south of France or anywhere in the world.

We'd spoken on the phone twice since I'd been here as unfortunately the reception here was not so good. Text messages seemed to work okay but I had to go outside, down the hill slightly for a phone call. Dad insisted on coming with me as he wasn't entirely sure of our surroundings. It was sweet of him really but it did mean that our phone calls were slightly limited. Mum informed me earlier that we were going into the local town tonight for dinner and then some drinks, so I was hopeful that I could slink away for a few minutes to speak to Naomi on my own for a change. Katie was excited about tonight, she'd not pulled yet, despite flirting shamelessly with the son of the family next door. This was seriously poor by her usual standards, so tonight was the night that she was going to pull. Well this is what she claimed anyway.

My phone beeped and I picked it up immediately.

_How's the tan coming along? Any white bits yet? Pissing down here. Missing you. Naomi x_

I smiled as I tapped my reply.

_Fucking roasting here. Tan coming along nicely. Will show you my white bits if you're lucky. Missing you loads too, out for dinner tonight so hopefully can call you by myself. What are you doing today? E x_

A few seconds later my phone beeped again.

_Hope I'm lucky then. Quiet day I think. Watching films in my room. My pillow smells like you x_

A huge grin swept across my face. I peered over my sunglasses and could see mum screwing her face up again, she obviously knew who the message was from. Fuck her, I wasn't going to let it get to me. I tapped in another reply and sent it, smile still beaming.

_You're too cute babe. Will call tonight. Love you x_

...

Dinner was nice enough and we headed to a nearby bar shortly afterwards. Mum and Dad had got chatting to another family and ended up having drinks with them, James was sitting in the corner playing with his ipod, and Katie was getting a pool lesson from the eldest son of our parent's new friends. She really was shameless, leaning over the table to flash her tits at him at any opportunity. I couldn't help but laugh at her, she really was determined to pull tonight. I thought that now would be an ideal time to slink off to call Naomi. Fortunately the bar was very quiet now, so I wandered over to a table in the back corner and sat down to make my call. It didn't take long for her to answer.

"Hey you," she breathed into the phone.

"Hey yourself. Feels so good to hear your voice Naoms, how are you?" I couldn't help but smile at hearing her.

"Fucking great now Ems, did I tell you that I love you?" Something wasn't quite right, she was slurring slightly.

"Naomi, are you drunk?" I asked with an almost too serious tone.

"A little tipsy, ended up drinking with the others at Keith's pub. There's shit all else to do here. Came home early so I could speak to you on my own." I was smiling again, I knew from her voice that she was more than a little tipsy.

"Ha well I'm glad you're enjoying yourself. And I'm glad you came home to speak to me. I'm missing you loads. So your pillow smells like me?"

"It's true Em, I like it. Makes me feel a bit better. How fucking pathetic am I?" She said laughing.

"I don't think it's pathetic, I think it's sweet. You're sweet. What are you missing the most about me?" I was curious as to what her reply would be.

"Just you. I can't stop thinking about you. I can't stop thinking about Monday morning, that was fucking hot. Can't get it out of my mind," she breathed heavily.

"Me too babe. We certainly worked the hangover out of you. Can't wait to get back home to your bed so we can do all those things again. I keep thinking of you when I'm alone at night. Can't wait to have you naked in my arms again." I whispered this to her, aware that there were other people in the room.

"Stop it Ems, you're turning me on." Her breathing was increasingly heavy.

"Okay, I'm sorry. Just think how amazing it's going to be when I get back. Anticipation is a good thing. And I promise I'll make it up to you."

"You fucking better," She laughed, her breathing slightly more calm.

"Naomi, it's really beautiful here. The sunsets are amazing. I just wish you were here to see them with me. It's just incredible. Made me think that it would be amazing to see a sunset anywhere with you. You know, travel a bit?" I'd thought about this a lot since the first night here.

"Yeah. That sounds good babe. Anywhere with you sounds great. Just promise me you won't go away without me again." She sighed.

"I promise." I could hear my phone beeping. "My phone is about to die, I'll text you when I get back to the villa. Three days and I'm home. Can't wait. Love you baby."

"I love you," she said before ending the call.

Three days, not long to go now.


	8. Chapter 8

**Thanks to the readers and reviewers, any feedback is welcomed :)**

I'd been thinking of Naomi for the full journey back from the airport, I couldn't wait to see her. We'd spent several hours last night sending lust filled text messages back to each other, describing in great detail what our reunion would be like. I couldn't get her off my mind, I was getting desperate to see her and felt like I could explode. Unfortunately it was 7 a.m. and my parents were insistent that I went home to sleep for a few hours before visiting Naomi. To be fair they did have a point and I'm sure I could have handled waiting a few more hours to see her. I hoped.

...

It was now 11 a.m., the time that we agreed I'd go round. I knocked on the door hoping that Naomi would answer so that I could pounce on her, only to be disappointed when it was her mother.

"Hi love. You're looking well. Did you enjoy your holiday?" Gina was always so friendly. The opposite of my mother. She ushered me into the hallway.

"It was good thanks. The weather was fantastic and the villa was beautiful." I smiled back at her.

"Glad you enjoyed it. Naomi is in her room, she's still in bed. Got a bit of a migraine. Just go up, I'm sure she'll be glad to see you."

I slowly opened the door and glanced into the room. She was lying on her side in the middle of the bed, covers pulled up tightly around her. She looked pale, ghostly. Her eyes looked heavy. "You okay babe? Your mum said you aren't feeling great, she let me in. Hope you don't mind." She let out a weak smile before gesturing with her hand for me to come over.

"Just got a bit of a sore head. Occasionally get them," she croaked, her voice thick with sleep.

I carefully sat on the edge of the bed and faced her. My fingers reached out and gently traced down her cheek. She sighed at my touch. "God I've missed you Emily."

"I've missed you too. So much," I said my voice in a whisper. "Have you taken anything for it?"

"A couple of strong painkillers. I'm usually okay after some sleep." She looked exhausted. Her blue eyes were missing their usual sparkle.

"I'll go then honey, let you get back to sleep." I said as I lifted her hand and placed soft kisses along the back of it.

"No. Please stay. I'll sleep better with you here." She looked at me, almost pleading. I thought my heart was going to break.

"Of course I'll stay," I smiled at her. I kicked off my shoes and lay on top of the covers facing her. I reached for her hand again and linked my fingers with hers. She squeezed my hand gently and closed her eyes, letting sleep overtake her.

I wasn't tired, just quite content to lie beside her, watching her chest rising and falling delicately. Her soft lips slightly parted, her breathing quiet and calming. Strands of her white-blonde hair had fallen messily around her face. I'd missed this so much. Missed watching her, missed being in her company, just missed her. On holiday I'd thought about Naomi a lot, thought about how far we'd both come over the past month or so. She'd finally opened up to me and let me past that tough exterior that she'd built up. I made her happy. I'd often find myself daydreaming and smiling, not quite sure what had brought it on. Then I realised it was because I was happy, genuinely happy. I really did love her.

...

A few hours had passed and I was still in the same position, watching Naomi sleep. Her eyes slowly fluttered open and she looked directly towards me, a slight sparkle had returned.

"Hey. Feel better?" I whispered gently.

"Yeah. Quite a lot better thanks. Did you sleep?" she asked as she rubbed her eyes.

"No. I just watched you. You're beautiful, you know that?" Naomi closed her eyes momentarily and blushed slightly. I was glad some colour had returned to her face.

She sat up, pulling the covers with her, and reached for a glass of water on the bedside table taking a small sip. She turned to face me and smiled.

"Look at you all tanned. You look fantastic babe, you really do." Her eyes trailed over my body as she spoke.

"Thank you. You sure you're feeling better?" I asked concerned.

"Yeah lots actually. It's not a big deal, sometimes I get bad headaches and the doctor said sleep is the best thing. Sorry babe I was a bit out of it when you first came in, only woke up as I heard the door go."

"It's okay. I was just a bit worried. It's not often that big strong Naomi Campbell looks so weak," I laughed and sat up next to her.

"Yeah well, you tell anyone about that Fitch..." she trailed off before leaning in and kissing me gently. I'd missed the feeling of her lips on mine. She pulled back from me and smiled. "I've missed doing that."

"Hmm, me too," I sighed, pressing my forehead into hers and looking her in the eyes.

"Sorry that it wasn't quite the horny reunion that we'd planned last night," she breathed.

"Sssh, it's okay. We've got all the time in the world for that." I smiled and pulled away from her. "So, have I missed anything exciting around here?"

"Well, I do have some news. It's kinda good though." she raised an eyebrow at me.

"Go on."

"Mum has decided she's going travelling for a while. Fucking off with that Irish fucker, something she's always wanted to do. No doubt she'll end up living with a lot of weirdos, she's into communal living and all that."

I laughed at the way she spoke about Kieran. She did actually quite like him. He was good for her mum.

"Anyway, as this house is a bit too big for just me, she's decided to sell up and buy somewhere for me to live for the next year. My own house, without any parents, for a whole year." She beamed at me.

"Babe, are you sure you're okay with being yourself without your mum?" I asked.

"I don't want her to miss out. Besides, I'm not by myself. I've got you." she smiled at me. "Just think Ems, you can stay whenever you want, we'll constantly have the place to ourselves and I can have parties whenever I want."

"That sounds amazing." I leaned in and kissed her again. We both moved slightly down the bed whilst kissing so we were lying on our sides, Naomi still under the covers, me on top of them.

"So you missed me Ems?" she breathed as she pulled away from me.

"More than you'll know," I said gazing into her eyes.

"Did you ever..." she walked her fingers lightly down my stomach, moving below my bellybutton and just lightly dipped her fingers under the waist band of my shorts before winking at me.

"Naomi! I'm not telling you that. It's personal," I said blushing.

"It's not personal if you were thinking of me when you did it," she grinned. "Come on, just tell me."

"Okay I did. It helped me get to sleep. Satisfied?"

"There's no need to be embarrassed. I did it too. It's a huge turn on thinking of you doing that." She licked her lips as she said that last sentence.

"God you're like a teenage boy sometimes," I breathed at her.

She leaned in towards my ear and whispered "You wouldn't like that would you. I'm naked under here you know, when are you going to join me."

I immediately pushed her backwards and forced my eager lips onto hers.


	9. Chapter 9

**Thank you to everyone who has read and reviewed so far. I have changed the rating of this after a suggestion to - I guess the previous rating was a little over cautious.**

**This update follows from the last chapter - apologies for taking sometime to put this one up.**

**Any feedback is welcomed.**

We were lying on the couch at Naomi's watching a DVD. It was our first night alone together in her new house without any parents; her mum had left for her trip earlier that morning. Naomi had offered to cook but we settled on a takeaway as I was quite frightened of her limited cooking skills and food poisoning wasn't on my to do list. She was laying behind me, with her arm draped loosely over me, her fingers lightly tracing circles over the material covering my stomach, it felt relaxing. Her chin was resting on my shoulder, her cheek nuzzled into mine. It was nice not to have to hide up in her room and take advantage of her having a parent-free home. It felt comfortable, almost grown up.

Naomi's fingers trailed slightly lower and moved underneath my top, pushing it slightly upward as she began to run her fingers over my bare skin. It was something she often did when we lay together, she liked the closer contact, her fingers must have known every inch of my stomach by now. I felt her face move slightly and her lips place a delicate kiss to my shoulder, I sighed and snuggled my body closer to her warmth. Her lips moved onto my neck and started to kiss a light trail back to my shoulder.

"Enjoying the film then Naomi?" I asked. She froze.

"Just thought of more fun ways to pass the time," she murmured into my neck.

"Naoms, it's not got long to go. I want to see the end. We can do that after," I said, trying to concentrate on the film in front of me.

"Wow, you're fun," she said sarcastically. Her lips returned to my neck and she started placing kisses again.

"Naomi, I'm serious. Keep your lips to yourself for half an hour please."

"Fine," she sighed and pulled her head back from me.

After pausing for merely seconds, her fingers continued tracing gently along my bare stomach. She had started moving them upwards, resting them just below the material of my bra before running them back toward my belly button. Each time her hand ventured slightly further, until she had daringly slipped her fingers underneath the wire of my bra.

"Naomi," I sighed, knowing full well what she was up to.

"Ssh," she leaned forward whispering into my ear. Her fingers edged slightly higher and pulled gently on my nipple, rolling it.

"Naomi, I know what you're doing." She really was testing my willpower, knowing that it would not take long for me to give in to her.

"Ssh, just enjoy it." She placed delicate kisses along my neck before moving to that spot just behind my ear. It was her secret weapon. She knew that it drove me wild when she kissed me there. I had no control over it. Every thought left my head when she kissed me there.

"Hmmmm, you know that's not fair" I gasped as I pushed my body backwards, further into her.

Naomi suddenly removed her hand from my breast and forcefully turned me around so that I was facing her. Her eyes were dark, lust filled. She edged her lips towards me, stopping just millimetres before they made contact with mine. I knew that she was playing, she wanted me to give in and kiss her first, she let out a deep breath and I could feel it warm against my skin. It only took seconds before I gave in, I couldn't stand it when she got me worked up like this. My lips crashed against hers, my tongue immediately forcing its way into her mouth, her moaning into the kiss. I rolled myself onto her, pressing our bodies closely together, still kissing frantically. Her hands made their way to the bottom of my top, pulling at the material, telling me that she wanted more. I somewhat reluctantly broke our kiss to sit up, straddling her and my top was lifted over my head in a quick, smooth movement. Her eyes trailed over my newly exposed flesh before her eager hands pulled me back down towards her, meeting me with a searing kiss. My hands ran down her body, reaching for the button of her jeans and undoing the zip, wanting to feel her. Her hands moved up to my hair, grasping at it, her breathing getting to heavy that she was struggling to respond to my kisses. My right hand slid down the front of her jeans, just over her underwear and rested against the heat of her, before my fingers started inching underneath the material, nearing to where she wanted me. She moaned against my lips and clutched my hair tighter, desperate for me to edge closer to her.

A loud bang stopped me suddenly.

"What was that?" I asked, my lips still attached to hers, hand now still.

"Fuck, the door." Naomi said with panic clear in her voice, grabbing my hand to pull it out of her jeans.

"Christ Naomi, why didn't you lock it?" She could sense the anger in my voice and tried to lean over in an attempt to reach our tops from the floor. It was too late.

"Shit," Naomi exclaimed as the living room door flew wide open. We stared towards it like rabbits caught in the headlights, neither of us quite sure what to do.

"Fucking hell Cook, ever heard of knocking?" I shouted, looking at him in disbelief. His eyes bugled at the sight in front of him. An almost naked me straddling a rather breathless Naomi.

"Ladies, don't stop on our account. In fact keep going, looks like it was just going to get interesting," he said, leering at us. Behind the open door, I could see the hallway quickly filling with a lot of people from college, clutching cases of beer and bottles of vodka. I don't think Cook even knew half of them. "I thought it was time for a party at Naomi Campbell's house," Cook exclaimed beaming.

"Fuck off Cook," I said as I scrambled off of Naomi and picked my discarded top up from the floor. Naomi's eyes followed me as I pushed past Cook and some randoms who were laughing and wolf whistling, before storming upstairs into her room and slamming the door.

Within moments I could hear music blaring through the house and people cheering. Naomi quickly came into her bedroom, her hands fumbling with the zip and button on her jeans, trying to do them up.

"Have you told them all to fuck off then?" I said glaring at her from the edge of the bed where I was sat.

"I can't. Give it a few hours and they'll be gone, " She said with an apologetic smile before walking over to sit next to me on the bed.

"You can. It's your house. This place is going to get trashed. What happened to it just being us tonight?" I turned away from her, showing her that I was annoyed.

"I'm sorry Ems. We'll get rid of them in a few hours. Then it can be just us. I promise. And it will be worth it. Come on, let's just enjoy ourselves yeah?" Her hand reached up towards my face and turned my head to look at her. I couldn't say no to those eyes.

"Yeah," I said reluctantly.

...

I spent most of the night talking to Panda, she was filling me in on the current situation between her and Thomas. It was actually nice speaking to her, she was one of the only people not drinking or taking drugs, although at times her conversation probably would have made more sense had she been drunk or high. I wasn't drinking either, I hoped that everyone would fuck off within a few hours and I wanted to be sober enough to spend the remainder of the evening with Naomi, perhaps continuing what we had started earlier in privacy. Naomi had spent a lot of time with Cook in the kitchen, she actually got on really well with him; I still found it quite a bizarre friendship, but I was glad that Naomi had started to open up to someone else as well as me. It reminded me of how much she'd changed over the past year.

Panda had suddenly disappeared off with Thomas, so I made my way upstairs to the bathroom, past a crowd of people who had gathered on the stairs. I went into the bathroom and quickly locked the door behind me, appreciating the cool air that was coming in through the open window. There was a sudden knock at the door.

"Someone in here," I replied, hoping they would go away.

"Ems, it's me," came the response from a familiar voice.

I opened the door and was greeted by a flushed looking Naomi. Her hair sticking slightly to her forehead with sweat. She must have been jumping around the living room with Cook at some point I thought.

"You okay babe?" she asked as she moved closer to me. I could smell the alcohol on her breath.

"Yeah. Hope they go soon. You had a lot to drink? You okay?" I asked, slightly annoyed at her drinking when I had opted not to.

"I am now," she said as she forcefully pinned me to the wall and started kissing her way up my neck. Her lips quickly made their way up to mine and her hands moved towards my top, tugging at the bottom, eager to remove it.

"Wow Naoms, slow down," I said as I tried to pull my head away from her.

"What's wrong?" Her jaw looked tight, like it was clicking. I was certain she hadn't just been drinking. Cook must have given her some pills too.

"It's just not right, doing this in here. The house is full of people." I tried to keep a distance between us.

"Come on, live a little," she said hungrily as she broke the distance and pushed into me again, this time a lot harder, her lips more eager, almost biting mine. Her fingers digging into my hips before sliding up underneath my top.

"Stop," I said pushing her back slightly more forceful this time, my hands on her shoulders. "I'm not fucking you in here. You're not listening to me. You're fucking drunk and high."

"Jesus Ems, lighten up. We're teenagers, act like it!" she spat as she pushed my hands from her shoulders.

"What's that supposed to mean?" I looked at her, my eyes beginning to well up. This was not my Naomi in front of me.

"We're at a party. Have fun you know? We don't need to sit in like a married couple! Sometimes it's good to actually speak to other people. We don't need to live in each other's pockets!" She could barely stand.

"Fuck you Naomi, you're acting like a prick." I stormed past her, stomped down the stairs and headed out the front door into the night.

Naomi didn't follow me. In fact, given her current state, she probably couldn't follow me. It was a good thing though, I needed to be on my own, I was so fucking angry at her. Angry that she let those people in, angry that she ended up so pissed and off her face on whatever pills, and angry that she spoke to me like that. It was the first time we'd ever argued since getting together properly. It wasn't my Naomi in that bathroom with me tonight. That's what upset me the most. She had regressed to the previous Naomi, the one who was scared of being happy with only me.

It was 2.30 am and freezing. I decided to walk back to my parent's house and sleep there.

...

A text message at 6.30am awoke me from my slumber.

_I might be a prick but I love you. Come back please. X_

Naomi was right. She was being a prick but after sleeping on it, I realised that perhaps I needed to relax more and act like a teenager sometimes.

Katie was sound asleep in the bed across from me. She had been sleeping when I came in only a few hours earlier, she was on a date and that's why she didn't come to the rather impromptu party. I decided that this was the right time to leave; I could avoid 20 questions from Katie and my parents about turning up in the early hours of the morning with mascara running down my cheeks. I quickly redressed and fixed my make up before heading for Naomi's.

...

I opened the front door and clambered over a mess of beer cans, bottles and food boxes trying to make my way to the stairs and up to Naomi's room. The place was an absolute state. Naomi's bedroom door was slightly ajar, and I could see her lying on the bed, fully clothed on top of the covers with her hands resting behind her head. She was staring at the ceiling, her hair wild and messy around her pale face.

"Hey," I whispered quietly, standing in the door frame.

"Hey you," she said, sitting up immediately and motioning for me to come sit next to her. Dark circles had formed around her eyes, a mix of smudged make up, tiredness and a hangover.

I moved my lips to start to speak, but she gently shook her head at me.

"Please let me go first. Ems, I feel shit. Last night was horrible. I shouldn't have spoken to you like that, you didn't deserve it." Her eyes had began to fill up.

"Go on," I said as I reached for her hand.

"Falling out with you is the last thing I want. I behaved like such a prick last night and I want you to know I'm sorry." A tear ran down her cheek. I sighed and reached forward to brush it away with my free hand.

"First of all, you don't just feel shit, you also look shit," I said with a light laugh, knowing that she could never look anything less than beautiful. "I don't want to ever fall out with you either. I spent some time thinking and I know that I acted too serious last night. I don't want you to feel like we can't have fun and that we have to spend every minute in each other's pockets. Fuck, you drive me up the wall at times, I need space too sometimes."

She laughed and squeezed my hand.

"I just need you to be honest with me Naomi. Tell me when you need space."

"I will Em. I just don't want another night like last, I couldn't stand the thought of you being angry with me. I didn't sleep at all last night. Wasn't right." Her blue eyes looked exhausted.

"Let's get some sleep. We've got a lot of cleaning to do when we wake up," I said before leaning in to kiss her softly on the cheek.

I pulled back the covers and we climbed into her bed fully clothed. Naomi instinctively wrapped her frame around me from behind and linked her fingers with mine.

"I love you," she whispered.

"I know."


	10. Chapter 10

**Again thanks to those who have read and reviewed. I'd appreciate more reviews as I'd welcome feedback to help me improve my writing.**

**There's no story to this chapter. You know when you're in love with someone and you share even the littlest things together, things that no one else knows or gets to see? This is what I've tried to capture here. Hopefully people will like it.**

I'd not spent as much time with Naomi in the week since our argument at the party. It's not that things had shifted between us, we were still happy, I just wanted to make sure that I wasn't smothering her. That morning after the party, Naomi had assured me that everything was okay, that she was just being like that as she was drunk. I believed her, but part of me wanted to hold back slightly and give her a little space over the next few days, I know she was grateful, though she'd never say it to me. We actually spent most of that day repeatedly apologising to each other, knowing that it was unnecessary but both feeling the need to reiterate the point and reaffirm our feelings. That was until Naomi suggested that there were more interesting ways to show our love for each other. She really does have the hormones of a teenage boy at times, not that I'd complain.

My phone ringing on my pillow took me from my current train of thought. I sat up and reached for it, grinning as I seen her name flashing on the screen.

"Hey," I answered.

"Hey you. What are you up to?" She asked. I smiled, realising I'd missed her voice.

"Sitting on my bed, pretending to watch TV. I was actually just thinking about you."

"Yeah? What were you thinking about Ems?" I'm sure she was smiling too at this point, I could hear it in her voice.

"You and your teenage boy hormones," I laughed into the handset as I said this.

"Hah, you know you love it really. Are you up to anything tonight? Wondered if you wanted to stay over?"

"Yeah definitely. It's been a few days since I stayed Naomi." It had been too many in fact.

"5 days Ems," she sighed.

"Fuck, 5? That's a long time for us, I can't say no can I?" Not that I would have said no to her.

"Yep. One thing though. We're staying elsewhere tonight."

"What? Where exactly?" I asked somewhat confused, wondering where we could be staying.

"I'm not saying. Get your stuff ready and come over about 8. See you later. I love you." She hung up quickly, not giving me time to reply.

...

It was nice. Peaceful. The sky was red, the evening sun slowly setting in front of us. We were sat on a familiar blanket, one which held so many memories for us both, some good, some bad. Naomi had her legs crossed, next to me, gazing intently at the sky. A mild breeze occasionally swept her white blonde hair across her face.

"I can't believe you are making us sleep out here when there is a perfectly comfortable bed inside," I said with a playful tone, pouting and pretending to be in a huff.

"Yeah well, I thought it would do us good to get away for a bit," she replied, brushing a stray hair away from her eyes.

"Babe, we're in your back garden. Hardly away, is it?"

"I guess not, but it's different."

"I hope it stays dry, I'm not really confident in that old tent protecting us from the elements." I said nodding towards the torn blue tent Naomi had expertly pitched behind us.

"I'll protect you from the elements," she said with a smile before pressing a gentle kiss onto my clothed shoulder.

I watched as Naomi leaned forward and pulled a battered tin out of her bag. She opened it and produced a spliff, before turning and handing it to me. I smiled and held her gaze for a second.

"Wanna do blowbacks Naoms?"

"If you want to shag me, you don't have to use that line anymore," she said winking.

"If I recall correctly, you were the one who kissed me," I said fiddling with the lighter, trying to light the spliff.

"That's because I couldn't not kiss you. I just couldn't. Can't explain it really." She placed her hand on my thigh, squeezing it slightly, gazing at the sky again.

It was the first time we'd spoken of our first night together. The painful memories were now distant for me, overtaken by new happy memories. I hadn't realised that I'd also pushed back the good things that had happened that night, I'd never shared with her how I felt about it all. She knew though.

"I don't think I've ever been so scared in my life as I was that night. I was fucking terrified," I said as I inhaled deeply, allowing the smoke to fill my lungs.

"You didn't seem it. It was perfect, you were perfect. What happened between us that night was beautiful." She reached for the joint and took a draw, inhaling deeply before laying back onto the blanket.

"You weren't so bad yourself you know." I leant back down to lie beside her on the blanket.

"I know. I was scared too. I've never wanted anything in my life as much as I wanted you that night. I can't describe it," she said taking another draw.

"You don't have to describe it. I know what you felt. I still feel it." I reached over and linked my fingers with hers, still gazing at the sky.

...

The sky was now dark. We were still lying in the same position, on the blanket with our fingers linked. Neither uttering a word for a long time, neither of us felt the need to. It was a comfortable silence, just enjoying being with each other, relaxing together, being next to each other.

"It's getting late," I said, breaking the silence reluctantly.

"Did you bring your pyjamas Ems?" She asked with a slight laugh.

"Course I did. Why, what's funny?" I replied turning to look at her, raising an eyebrow slightly.

"It's just you. I mean I can have you naked, breathless and covered in sweat, but you always reach for something to sleep in afterwards, to cover up," she said facing me, her lips curving into a smile.

"Just habit I guess," I said with a shrug.

"I like it. It's part of you. Part of you that only I know." Naomi rolled onto her back again, gazing up to the sky.

"You've got your habits too you know. Every time I stay with you, I always wake up with your fingers tracing gentle circles over my bare stomach. I think you do it absent minded, in your sleep sometimes." I watched her eyes close and her exhale a soft breath, smiling slightly.

"This is why I wanted to be out here," she sighed, her eyes opening again.

"What, so you can make fun of my sleeping habits?" I asked, somewhat confused.

"No," she said firmly. "Look at the sky Ems, look at the stars."

I turned onto my back and looked toward the sky.

"Look at them Ems. Whenever I felt alone, I used to look at them. It made me feel better, knowing that I wasn't the only person in the world looking at them. Made me feel less lonely. Do you get that?" she asked.

"Yeah, I think so," I said, taken back slightly by her honesty.

"They are there every night. I don't know the names of the constellations, but I recognise them. They are familiar, something I know," she sighed again.

"Naomi, why are you telling me this? Do you feel lonely right now?" I asked quietly, perhaps afraid of what her answer could be.

"I haven't been lonely for a long time Emily. You should know that, you have to trust that. I wanted to share this with you as it's beautiful, amazing almost."

She turned onto her side, to face me. I rolled over and met her gaze, her blue eyes under the moonlight.

"You're a sensitive soul, aren't you Campbell?" I said, reaching over and gently placing my hand on her cheek.

"Yeah, yeah I am," she said smiling into my touch. "Come on, I think it's time to get some sleep," she said lifting herself off the blanket and reaching out to help me up.

We walked over to the small tent and got in before zipping it up behind us. Naomi had placed a thin cover on the floor for us to lie on, with the duvet from her bed on top, pulled back at the corner. I undressed and changed into a long t-shirt, predictably, and Naomi undressed fully. She pulled back the duvet and climbed in, gesturing for me to do the same at my side. I leaned over towards her, placing a long tender kiss to her lips before turning around and sliding my body back against hers. Naomi wrapped her naked body around me from behind, letting me fall asleep in a familiar warmth.


	11. Chapter 11

**Again, thanks to those who have read and reviewed - I'd appreciate more reviews though!**

**I'm thinking that there will only be one more chapter to this fic. I have considered doing missing scenes from series 4 in another fic, this time from Naomi's POV.**

**Okay so this chapter, Naomi's behaviour is a little strange. I think the reasons behind it are much more than Naomi is leading Emily to believe. Also I've made my first proper attempt at writing a love scene, not something I'm entirely comfortable with.**

**Please read and review!**

It was a quiet sunny afternoon and I was smiling as I stood at the gate of Naomi's house, ready to make my way in. She had been away yesterday, visiting family I think, and I was desperate to see her. Even after a day I missed her.

I pulled out my key and unlocked the door before calling out to her. There was no reply. After quickly scanning downstairs and finding no trace of her, I made my way up to her bedroom. She was probably still sleeping or perhaps in bed waiting for me in a state of undress. I secretly hoped the latter was true, though I knew it was unlikely, it wasn't her style.

"Naomi," I called out as I pushed the door open gently. She was lying on the bed, on top of the covers, facing away from me. "I hope you're not sleeping, it's 2pm for fuck's sake," I said with a laugh.

She didn't move. I walked around the room and sat on the bed next to her. She was awake, lying silently, her face red from crying.

"Hey, what's wrong?" I asked softly, learning down and brushing tears away from her eyes.

She just shook her head at me, not uttering a word, giving nothing away. Her blue eyes locked with mine and tears continued to flow from them.

"Naomi, what's wrong? Tell me, please," I urged, pulling her clasped hand back from her tear stained face and protectively holding it in mine.

"Come on babe, you're frightening me. Are you okay? Has something happened to you? Did something happen yesterday? Please just tell me what's wrong." This time I whispered, my own eyes starting to well up at the sight in front of me.

She noticed my own tears and her eyes clamped shut. "I'm sorry, I just don't feel that well, I don't know what's wrong with me," she whispered in a voice so small it was barely her.

"Come here," I said as I pulled her up towards me, wrapping my arms around her tightly, holding her close to me. She clung on to me and sobbed into my shoulder. I kissed the top of her head and ran my hands soothingly up and down her back.

"You can tell me anything you know, it's me," I said in a reassuring voice.

I could feel her nod against my shoulder before pulling back from me slightly. Her pale eyes looked into mine and her mouth curved into a weak smile.

"Sorry, I must look like shit," she said as she tried to mop up her tears with the sleeves of her top.

"You don't. You never look anything less than beautiful," I said as I brushed stray hairs out of her face.

"Even when I cry?" She asked, still trying to hold back tears.

"Even when you cry. Now come on, talk to me. I don't like seeing you this way."

"I thought you said I was beautiful when I cry," she said with a slight smile.

"You are but you're not happy." I leaned back against the headboard and wrapped my arm around her shoulder, pulling her onto me, her head resting against my chest.

"I miss my mum. I never thought I'd hear myself say that but it's true. She drives me up the fucking wall but I really miss her." Her voice began to crack again.

"Have you heard from her recently?"

"She called last week, but nothing since. I guess I'll hear from her in a few days but today I just really missed her and wanted to speak to her Ems."

"You know what she's like, she'll be in touch soon. And soon enough she'll be back to annoying you and asking you too many questions," I said with a light laugh.

"You're right." She pulled me closer towards her and clung onto me again.

"Naoms, are you sure that's all that's wrong? It's not like you to be this teary. Have I done something to upset you?"

"God, no Ems. Please don't think that. I'm just having a bit of a low day. Mum was always here to look after me when I felt like this. Probably hormonal too."

"Well then, I know it's not quite the same, but let me look after you today."

She sat up in front of me and leaned in to kiss me. "You are amazing," she breathed as she pulled her lips back from mine, tears running down her face again.

"Babe, when are you due to come on?" I asked.

"Next week sometime, why?" She said, looking a bit puzzled.

"It's just you said that you're feeling hormonal and I've never known you to be like this, you know crying like that. You're usually seriously horny before your period is due, pretty much ripping my clothes off for the full week before."

"You never complain though," she replied.

"I know I never do, and I never will. I just think maybe you should see the doctor," I said softly.

"Why?"

"I don't know, maybe they can put you on the pill, stop you feeling like this. I've heard that works."

"Ems, you do know that I don't need to be on the pill, it's not as if you can get me pregnant," she scoffed.

"Yeah, but I do enjoy trying," I winked.

She laughed loudly and slapped me on the arm. It was good to see her laughing like that.

"Okay Campbell, I propose we have a duvet day. We'll lie on the couch together, eat far too much junk food and watch awful chick flicks whilst crying our eyes out. How does that sound?"

"That sounds like a plan Ems. Thank you," she said before leaning in to kiss me again.

...

I'd spent most of the day on the couch with a somewhat teary Naomi, even laughing at times and generally enjoying each other's company. She assured me that she did feel better, though she was pretty clingy and reluctant for me to leave the room even for a few minutes. I did find it cute however.

Eventually Naomi fell asleep against my shoulder and it pained me to wake her up to get her to go up to bed, as she finally looked peaceful. She was refusing to go to bed until I told her that I'd be coming too and I was staying the night. Naomi held onto my hand as I guided her upstairs and into bed. We went to sleep in a reversal of our usual position, with me protectively holding Naomi from behind. She was exhausted and fell asleep again almost immediately, with her fingers tightly gripping onto mine. I lay awake for some time just holding her, every now and then placing a gentle kiss to her bare shoulder.

...

I awoke to delicate kisses on my face and fingers tracing along my neck. My eyes slowly opened and registered the darkness of the room, it must have been the middle of the night. I could see the outline of Naomi so close to me, her eyes barely visible in the dim light, her lips glistening slightly. She leaned in again and kissed me this time on the mouth, her lips barely brushing against mine. It took me a few seconds to react and I pushed my lips back to her, firmer. Naomi slipped her hands around my neck and pulled me towards her, kissing me harder, forcing her tongue past my lips. I moaned softly into the kiss and placed my hand on the small of her back to bring her body closer to mine. We kissed frantically, Naomi clinging to me desperately before she pulled away from me. I opened my eyes and looked at her. Her expression was unreadable.

"Are you okay?" I whispered gently through the darkness.

"Yeah," she replied, quietly, almost breathless. "I just need you Ems, please."

Her hands moved from the back of my neck to the bottom of my vest top. She lifted it gently, pulling it up my body. I stretched by arms up and helped her to remove it completely. Her fingers traced back down my face, along my neck before moving to my chest. She pressed the palm of her hand flat against my rapidly beating heart. Her eyes locked with mine again.

"Please make love to me," she whispered, her eyes almost pleading.

I slid one arm underneath her, wrapping her fully in my arms and pulled her body into mine. Her breathing hitched slightly at the sensation of her bare breasts pressed against mine.

"I love you," I said before kissing along her jaw and down toward her neck. Her hands tangled in my hair and pulled me closer to her. Soft moans escaped her as I moved my mouth back up towards her lips. I kissed her deeply, slowly, with as much passion as I could. Her hands pulled tighter in my hair, I knew that she needed me urgently, needed comfort, it wouldn't be fair to tease her, not now.

My free hand moved over her hip, slowly moving towards her thigh and grazing over her skin before coming to rest between her thighs. Naomi gasped against my lips before lifting one leg and hooking it around my waist. I continued to kiss her as I slid my hand her thigh to where she needed me. My fingers gently traced along the slick heat before I built up a soft steady rhythm and rubbed against her. She pulled back from kissing me and pressed her forehead against mine, clamping her eyes shut as her breathing became slightly heavier. I kissed her face before moving down her neck again, placing hot open mouthed kisses to her neck, every so often running my tongue over her clammy skin. My fingers began to work against her faster, matching the pace of her breathing. One of her hands untangled from my hair and moved to my neck, wrapping around and clinging onto me. I knew that it wasn't going to take long for her to get her much needed release.

Her leg clamped around me tighter, signalling that she needed more of me. I moved my head lower and kissed her breast, running my tongue furiously over her nipple before covering it with my whole mouth and sucking. One hand pressed firmly against her back pulling her even further into me, whilst two fingers on my other hand slipped easily inside her, working in a fast frantic rhythm, my thumb brushing against her outside where she needed it. Naomi threw her head back and groaned deeply, clinging to me. She wasn't far now.

My hand and mouth continued to move steadily, giving her body what it needed until I felt her begin to shudder against me. Her breathing was frantic, loud moans were escaping her mouth and her nails dug into me Her muscles tightened against my fingers as a wave of pleasure shook through her body. I stilled my hand before gently pulling away from her. She rolled onto her back, breathless and glistening with sweat. I was still on my side, and lay there watching her, her chest rising and falling whilst she was trying to catch her breath. Her hair was sticking to her forehead, I reached over and pushed it away from her face, before trailing my fingers down her face and neck, eventually resting them over her heart that was hammering in her chest.

Naomi opened her eyes and smiled at me. She lent over and kissed me softly on the lips, before nuzzling her head against mine and wrapping herself tightly against my body, hugging me.

"Thank you. I love you," she whispered, her naked body hot against mine.

"I love you too," I said again, running my fingers softly along the damp skin of her back.

"Ems, do you want your top back to sleep in?" She asked trying to disguise a yawn.

"Sssh, no. Not tonight," I said before turning to kiss her head gently. "I'll be fine just like this."


	12. Chapter 12

**Thanks to all who have read and reviewed. Those of you who have only read - come on leave me a review too!**

**Naomi's strange behaviour of the last chapter was linked to another person. It will unfold over the next few chapters. (I think I may switch perspective though)**

**This chapter continues from the last and starts to venture into series 4. **

**Please read and review - thanks!**

I awoke on my back to find Naomi next to me still sound asleep with her head resting on my shoulder, her arm and leg draped over my body. Her hair was wild and messy, strewn over the pale skin of her face. She breathed delicate breaths through lips that were swollen from the desperate kisses from last night. My eyes adjusted to the light and I stared at the ceiling letting out a sigh. I've never seen Naomi like she was last night, I couldn't quite get my head around it, but it was intense. Whenever we make love it's intense, always passionate but there was something else there, that sense of urgency and desperation from Naomi. She's never been like that before. It's taken her time to let me in, but last night her walls were stripped back further than I'd ever seen them, she was so vulnerable.

I gently slid my shoulder out from underneath her head and turned onto my side to face her. My fingers reached out to tuck stray blonde hairs behind her ears whilst my lips pressed a tender kiss to her cheek. She breathed out heavily from my touch and moved her body closer to me, pulling me into her.

"Morning," she croaked sleepily, her eyes still closed.

"Hey you," I whispered gently before returning my lips to her cheek and placing another tender kiss. She pulled her head back and opened her eyes, giving me a warm smile. Her eyes smiled too, she looked far better than she had yesterday.

"How you feeling Naoms?"

She reached down and felt for my hand, linking her fingers with mine. "Better. Much better, thanks."

"You sure?" I said as I circled my thumb along the back of her hand.

"Yeah, I am," she sighed before pulling me into a tight hug. "Thank you for being so amazing," she whispered in my ear, then placed a soft kiss on my neck.

"Babe, last night was pretty intense," I stated cautiously, unsure of what her reaction would be. "I just need to know that you're okay, that we're okay."

She pulled back and locked her eyes with mine, her cheeks were slightly flushed. "It's always intense between us Ems. You make me feel something, I feel like I'm the only person that matters when I'm with you."

I leant forward and pressed my lips into hers, delicately, I didn't need to hear anymore. It was hard for her to open up and I didn't want to push her further than necessary.

"Okay," I smiled against her lips before returning my head to my pillow. "It's half 11. I'm going to get a shower and I'll make us some breakfast."

"That sounds good. Do you want to do something today Ems? Go out somewhere? See a film or something, maybe a few drinks? I just need to get out the house and have some fun."

"Yeah sure. I'll go for that shower and I'll leave you to brainstorm what we're doing today babe," I said dragging myself out of her arms.

...

I could feel the music thumping through my body and alcohol rushing through my bloodstream. Bright lights flashed every so often, illuminating Katie who was in front of me, swaying her arms above her head in time to the music, hair falling around her face as she moved around carefree. I moved around just as carefree as her, jumping up and down, my arms and chest glistening in the heat. Freddie was chatting closely to a girl in the corner but I couldn't see any of the others, I knew they were in there somewhere as we'd arrived together. The only person I really wanted to see was my girl. She was going to meet me in the club as she'd met up with Cook beforehand, saying he really needed someone to talk to.

Katie gestured that she needed a drink before grabbing my wrist and dragging me through the crowd towards the bar. She pushed through people and managed to make space for us both to lean against the bar.

"Fucking hell Ems, it's hot in here," she shouted above the music.

"I know, my top is practically sticking to me," I shouted back, slurring my words slightly.

"Jesus Ems, you're pissed," she laughed and put her arm protectively around my shoulder.

I guess I was pretty pissed. I'd met up with Katie in the pub and she poured vodka after vodka down my neck. It was actually really fun spending time with her, gossiping, talking about our family and most importantly our love lives. Katie actually took an interest in how things were going with Naomi, I was glad that she's getting used to the idea although she did draw the line when I got a bit tipsy and mentioned sex. I don't think I'll forget the look on her face for a while. Things were great though, it had been a couple of days since Naomi's emotional episode and things were just as they have always been, as if that day never happened.

"Two vodkas, straight," Katie shouted at the barman before shoving money in his direction.

"Fucking hell Katie, I'm gonna collapse if I drink anymore," I shouted into her ear.

"Don't be such a lightweight Ems, we're having fun here. This is a fucking ace night. When's Naomi getting here?" she enquired, glancing over my shoulder. She must have been checking out a guy.

"Dunno, she text saying she was on her way about half an hour ago," I said as I grabbed my drink and raised the glass to my lips, downing the vodka in one go before shuddering as the alcohol burned down my throat.

As I placed the glass back on the bar I felt strong arms wrapping around my waist from behind and soft lips pressing against my neck. I smiled happily, immediately recognising who they belonged to.

"Hey," she breathed into my ear, before pulling me back tighter against her.

I glanced up towards Katie who smiled briefly before announcing that she was away to dance again. She winked at me as she made her way to the dance floor, pushing through the crowds of people.

Naomi spun me around in her arms, and immediately pressed her lips into mine, before pulling back and resting her forehead against mine. "I missed you," she breathed as she gazed at me.

"How's Cook?" I asked, head still pressed against her.

"He's okay, just needed someone to talk to. Effy stuff, you know? Thanks for giving us some space earlier," she said smiling.

"Anytime babe. Look at you miss flapper girl, you look fucking gorgeous tonight," I slurred as I looked her up and down.

"Haha, are you drunk Fitch? You can barely get your words out," she teased.

"Maybe a little, well quite a fucking lot but it's true. You look great. Can't wait 'til I get you home," I purred, sliding my hands from where they were resting on her waist further up her sides.

"Is that right?" she said, winking suggestively.

"No, I can't wait."

I grabbed her by the hand, and started to push my way through the crowd dragging her with me. Naomi didn't say a word, she just squeezed my hand and followed me. We made our way into the bathroom and I dragged her through the crowd of girls to the nearest empty cubicle. I shut the door quickly behind us and slammed Naomi forcefully into the wall then attacked her neck with my mouth, placing hot kisses all over her neck.

"Jesus Ems," she gasped, her hands tangled in my hair.

I continued my assault on her neck whilst I slid my hand up the smooth skin of her thigh, earning another delightful moan from my girl. Naomi pulled my head back up towards her and crashed her lips against mine pushing her tongue into my mouth. I groaned and she pulled back, holding my face tightly in her hands and winking at me before she teasingly ran the tip of her tongue around my lips. She lightly kissed me on the cheek, trailing her kisses further along my face, stopping just as she reached my ear.

"You're just going to have to wait Fitch," she whispered, before turning and letting herself out of the cubicle.

I leant my head back against the wall trying to catch my breath and sighed.

...

We spent another few hours in the club, drinking and dancing together, in our own little world ignoring everyone around us, including our friends. Naomi had teased me all night, grinding against me on the dance floor, trailing her hands all over my body and stopping suddenly before they reached where I wanted them the most. She would pull me in for kisses and pull away quickly, leaving me breathless, desperate for more. It was several hours of relentless teasing and foreplay. I knew that it would be worth it when we got home, it was going to be explosive.

Naomi signalled to me on the dance floor that she was feeling a little hot and reached for my hand. She pulled me towards some steps that led to a platform overlooking the dance floor and dragged me up. I leaned against the metal railings and felt Naomi press her body into mine from behind, her arms either side of me on the railing. I leant my head back and turned to place a kiss on her cheek.

"Please Naoms, can we go home now?" I said with my lips still against her face.

"You worked up or something Ems?" she asked as she moved one hand flat against my stomach and allowed her fingers to trail lower.

"You're such a fucking tease," I hissed before turning round and kissing her fully on the lips, sliding my arms up around her neck.

"You love it," she laughed as she leaned in to meet my lips again, this time pushing her tongue into my mouth and deepening the kiss, her arms pulling me tighter against her body. We kissed hungrily for several minutes, both of us now desperate for the other but equally unwilling to break our kiss in order to leave the club and get home.

A deafening thud followed by hysterical screaming stopped us both suddenly. I pulled back from Naomi and looked over the railings.

"Fuck!" I screamed.

A girl was lying face down.

Her body twisted.

Blood pouring from her head.

Her eyes wide open.

Blood everywhere.

I couldn't look at the sight in front of me. I felt sick.


	13. Chapter 13

**Hello! Apologies that it has taken me so long to update this.**

**This continues on from the last chapter where we had got to the Sophia incident in the nightclub.**

**I've now switched to Naomi's POV.**

**Thanks to all readers and reviewers so far, more reviews would be welcomed though!**

I couldn't get that sound out of my head. The loudest, most painful noise I'd ever heard. Her there, face down on the ground, laying there like a fucking ragdoll. I almost collapsed when I saw it was her. Was very nearly tempted to throw myself over the railings after her. How on earth had everything gotten so fucked up so quickly?

I'd cheated on my beautiful Emily by sleeping with this girl.

And now she was dead.

To top it all fucking off, I sold her drugs the night she died.

I felt physically sick as I watched the scene in front of me. I'd been blissfully happy just moments earlier, getting ready to go home with Emily and spend an amazing night with her. Now I stared at this poor girl, blood pouring from her head, people screaming hysterically around her. The music stopped, the lights went up and shouts of "run" could be heard. People had started heading towards the exits, pushing past each other, desperate to get out of there. I was frozen to the spot, watching on in horror. My mind was running into overdrive, I had no idea what to do.

I felt Emily's hand pulling at my arm, urging me to turn around and face her.

"This is fucked up Naomi," she gasped, tears forming in her eyes. "That girl's dead."

My whole body heaved and I covered my mouth with my hand before running towards the nearest exit. I could hear Emily calling my name, coming after me. As soon as the cold air hit me, I retched and threw up into a gutter at the side of the road. Tears stung in my eyes as my body continued to heave, my ribs painful as I leaned over. I felt Emily's hand rubbing soothing circles on my back, her other hand scraping my hair away from my face.

"Come on babe, that's it, just bring it all up," she said as she rubbed my back.

I eventually stood back up to face Emily, my whole body in agony.

"Babe, come on sit here." She gestured me to a kerb a little further from the exit of the club. "Wait here," she said as she disappeared back into the crowd that was on the street.

Within moments she returned and sat next to me, wiping my face with a tissue and offering me a bottle of water.

"Drink this," she offered kindly before slipping her arm around my shoulders. "You're just a bit shaken up at seeing that. Everyone is."

She was so fucking nice to me and I had screwed everything up beyond belief. This was going to kill her. Kill us, our relationship. The best thing that had ever happened to me and I fucked it up. I had to keep it quiet. I needed to speak to Cook. He knew I'd sold the drugs to her, he watched me do it. I needed to see him to get the story straight. My mind was racing again.

"Naomi, we need to get out of here. You're freezing and the police are going to be all over this place soon. We need to go." Her voice was panicked and rushed. I knew that she was in shock, truly upset at what she had just witnessed. But typical Emily being selfless, making sure I was alright first.

"I'm going to call Katie and see where she is, maybe get the guys to make sure she gets home okay. Once I know she's okay we can get out of here. Give me a minute," she said as she fumbled around in her bag for her phone.

I sat in silence, not uttering a word. I was remotely aware of Emily talking to Katie on the phone, my head was spinning, I really didn't know what to do.

"Katie's with JJ and Freddie, they are walking her home. Come on we're going," she said standing up and reaching for my hand.

She pulled me up and we started walking towards mine quickly, not speaking a word to each other. Emily was silent, but it was clear that she was upset as she raised her hand and wiped her eyes every so often. Her other hand gripped mine tightly, holding on for dear life. I felt fucking useless, my body there but my head not. This was going to crush her.

It didn't take long for us to get back to mine. Emily pushed open the gate and let go of my hand, allowing me to go on ahead and open the door. Shaking with nerves, I somehow forced the key into the lock and turned it to open the door. I held it for Emily to go in first, me following closely behind her.

"Lock it please," she said once we were both inside.

I complied and locked the door shut before turning around and flicking on the light. Emily was sitting on the staircase in front of me, her head in her hands.

"Em," I said softly, wanting to check that she was okay.

"I think we just need to sleep Naomi," she replied lifting her head to look at me, her face expressionless.

"Yeah. I'm going to get myself cleaned up in the bathroom. You head up to bed, I won't be long."

Emily stood up and we both made our way up the staircase. I went straight into the bathroom and switched on the shower before pulling my phone out of my bag. I frantically typed a message to Cook.

_Cook need to talk. This is fucked up, I'm freaking out. Text don't phone, I'm with Em._

I pulled off my clothes and stepped into the shower, scrubbing myself clean but careful not to get my hair wet. I knew that Emily wasn't alright and that I had to be quick so that I could be with her. Within what seemed like seconds, I was out of the shower and drying myself in front of the mirror. I still had a horrible taste in my mouth from earlier, so I brushed my teeth trying to get rid of it. My phone had lit up on the counter next to me.

_Calm__ down we'll sort it. Nothing links us to it. Act normal. Speak tomorrow._

Act normal. That's what I had to do. Easier said than done.

I wrapped a towel around my body and headed to the bedroom, pushing the door open gently. Emily was underneath the covers on the right hand side of the bed, facing towards me, her hands covering her face, delicate sobs escaping her. I walked over and lay down beside her, taking her hands away from her face and pulling her into my shoulder. My hands wrapped around her frame and held her tightly.

"This is so fucked up Naoms, I can't believe we seen that. That poor girl, I don't even know who she was but I can't get it out of my mind," she sobbed into my shoulder.

"I know," was all I could croak out.

"She must have walked past us, maybe if we'd seen her we could have done something. Maybe grabbed her, stopped her. I don't even know if she slipped, or was pushed or whatever." She clung onto me.

Fucking hell. I couldn't believe it. Emily felt guilty for this. How could she feel guilty? At that point I realised that I needed to get my act together, start acting normal and pull it together for her. She shouldn't be feeling like this. After everything I'd screwed up, I needed to make sure she felt okay. I knew Emily was a sensitive person. I think anyone would struggle to not be affected by what had just happened.

"Ems," I started as I pushed on her shoulders forcing her to look in my eyes. "We don't know what happened, you can't think like that."

She nodded and closed her eyes.

"We need to get some sleep. Come on, I'm here with you now" I said as I slipped myself under the covers, next to her.


	14. Chapter 14

**Thanks to readers and reviewers. This continues from the last chapter. I've got a feeling that a lot of angst is on its way...**

I couldn't sleep. I was exhausted but I couldn't sleep. Emily had her head leant against my chest, her red hair draped loosely over my shoulder, one hand tightly gripping my side. She'd fallen asleep a few hours ago, a combination of exhaustion and alcohol taking over. I was not so fortunate, my mind was in overdrive, lots of different thoughts racing through.

Sophia was dead. I'd slept with her behind Emily's back and sold her drugs. Now she was dead. A sense of guilt crept through me as I realised that Sophia dying wasn't what had upset me the most tonight, it was the thought of losing Emily. Breaking her. Breaking us.

Love had terrified me. I now realised that falling in love is one of the most beautiful yet most frightening things you can experience. I had this person who I'd do anything for. I spent most of my time thinking about her, I was always grinning like a fucking idiot when I did that. All I wanted was to be with her and no one else, friends suddenly didn't seem so important. This one person could make me feel so fucking fantastic, like I could do anything. She encouraged me to do anything, and be happy and I loved her for it. I'd let Emily in and told her things that I struggled to say to myself, let alone anyone else. She had my soul. She knew everything about me. I felt something with her, something I'd never experienced before.

It could all be gone in a second though.

That's where the fear came in. One person who brought so much joy and happiness to your life could take it away in an instant, leaving you with nothing. That made me feel weak. That made me feel scared.

I didn't like that love had a hold over me.

Emily had a hold over me.

She had dreams of travelling the world together, taking a gap year before going to university. It was all thought out; after a year of travelling we would look at courses at universities near to each other and live together whilst studying. Emily had it all planned, her future, our future. It frightened me, my future mapped out before I was even 18. I wanted to be with her, I knew that but I didn't think that I would have to make compromises on my dreams to make way for hers. I was scared to tell Emily how I really felt, I didn't want to ruin what we had and that's why I never told her about that open day. That's where I met Sophia.

Sophia seemed to understand me, listened to my fears and feelings of being trapped. It touched upon something that was not there with Emily, she was so excited about our future together that she didn't realise what I wanted. What I did wasn't Emily's fault, it couldn't ever be.

I was drunk when I had sex with Sophia, it didn't excuse the fact that I cheated, but it gave me the nerve to do it. It was awkward and strange, both of us fumbling around as if we were unsure of what to do. There was no need or passion, it was just sex. Nothing like it is with Emily. I felt sick afterwards and threw up when Sophia had left. She told me that she understood it didn't mean anything and that I was in love with Emily, but I could see that she was hurt. I was disgusted with myself. I spent over an hour scrubbing my skin until it was red in the shower, convinced that Emily would know Sophia had touched me.

The next day Emily came round to find me having a minor breakdown. I felt so guilty that all I could do was cry. Emily bought my explanation of hormones and missing my mum, which just added to the guilt. She was so fucking kind to me that day, she made me realise how much I wanted to be with her, regardless of where we were headed after college. I had fucked it up though. Something inside me switched on that night, I needed to feel something, secure, loved. Emily made me feel all of those things, she comforted me and made love to me like I was the only thing that ever mattered. She told me that she loved me and held me when I slept. I knew the next morning that I couldn't ever lose that. I had to go on and forget about Sophia, act like it never happened.

Less than a week later everything had changed again. Everything was more fucked up than I ever could imagine.

I trusted Cook; I knew that he would sort out the drugs issue. I believed him, I had to. It was the one hope that I could cling to at that moment.

I just couldn't let Emily find out.

"Nai, you awake?" Her sleep filled voice dragged me from my train of thought.

"Yeah babe. You okay?" I asked as I hugged her body close to me.

"I feel a bit better for getting some sleep, but I'm still exhausted. Have you slept?" She mumbled into my chest.

"Not really. Just can't, you know?" I answered honestly.

"Did you know her?" I felt Emily's hand search for mine before linking our fingers together.

"Sophia?" Emily sat up quickly, turning to look at me. My heart rate quickened.

"That's her name? You knew her?" She asked quickly.

I sighed and took a deep breath to calm myself.

"That's what someone was screaming when it happened, I'm assuming that's her name. I didn't know her, think I've seen her in college before though." I lied. It surprised me how easy I found lying to her. It shouldn't be like that.

"Oh," was all she said before laying back down.

We lay in silence for several minutes before I leant over and pressed a gentle kiss to the top of Emily's head. I glanced at the clock. 5.30 am.

"I think my hangover is starting. I feel quite hot and my head is starting to hurt." Emily stated before sighing and rolling away from me onto her back.

I propped myself up on my elbow and lay facing her. "Want me to get some painkillers for you hun?"

"It's okay, think I've got some in my bag. I'll get them in a minute. You not slept at all Nai?"

"No. Just been lying here, couldn't sleep," I answered with a yawn.

"I know it's hard but you need to put it out of your mind, for tonight anyway. You look exhausted babe."

"I am. I feel it," I sighed.

"Come here."

Emily stretched out her arms and pulled me onto her, my head resting on her chest. She slowly trailed her finger nails up and down my back. It was something I always found relaxing, Emily knew that. It soothed me.

"Mm, that feels nice," I said, yawning once again.

"Ssh. Don't think. Just sleep babe."


	15. Chapter 15

**Thanks to anyone who has read and reviewed. Would like more reviews though... please?**

**We're jumping ahead slightly and it's all getting a bit angsty...**

"You came back," I said as I looked at the figure that had entered the room. She sat down on the bed opposite me and fiddled with the hem of her top, refusing to meet my gaze.

"Yeah. Not much choice really, here or back home. Don't know what's worse," she croaked out with a strained voice. Her head was down but I could see that her eyes were visibly red from crying. I wanted to sit beside her and touch her, comfort her but I couldn't. I knew she wouldn't let me. I knew I didn't have the right to. Not anymore.

"Don't say that, please. It... It doesn't have to be like that."

She sighed and looked up at me. She looked broken.

"You know what? When we got together properly I was scared. I know it's hard to believe I was scared, hard to believe that anyone other than you gets scared. I was scared of you hurting me again, you'd fucked me over enough already and broken my heart enough times but I took a chance. You'd brought me as low as I ever thought I could be and I picked myself back up again, I didn't think you could hurt me anymore than you already had so I took a chance. I put my fears aside because I wanted you, I loved you. Guess I was wrong though, I've never felt so low. I'm crushed Naomi. Fucking crushed."

Tears started to fall freely down her face. I felt numb. I'd done this to her. I'd broken the most beautiful person. Reduced her to this.

"I'll do anything," I said reaching a hand out towards her. She turned her head and shook it, clearly not wanting me to make contact.

"What if I don't want you to do anything? What if I've had enough?"

"Please Em, we can't just give up on us. I love you."

"We?" She spat. "I don't think that you're involved in that decision anymore. You slept with someone else."

"It meant nothing." I regretted saying it almost as soon as the words had left my mouth.

Emily stood up suddenly and walked over to the window. She rested her elbows on the ledge and held her head in her hands, red hair falling around her face, her body hunched over visibly defeated. A loud sigh escaped her before she turned her head to look at me.

"Well I'm glad you've destroyed something that meant everything to me over a quick fuck that meant nothing. Thought I was worth more than that." Her voice was full of anger.

"You are. I'm a fucking idiot. I've messed up so fucking much and I'm sorry. I'm so fucking sorry. Please... please give me a chance to fix this," I said, my eyes beginning to well up.

"Why did you do it?"

"I was confused and scared. I know you're sick of hearing that but it's true. Everything was moving so fast, you wanted us to travel, go to uni together and it frightened me. I felt like I was trapped," I said trying to be as honest as I could. I owed it to her now.

"So it's my fault then? Because I loved you that much that I wanted to be with you, experience things with you, it lead you to sleep with someone else. It lead you to break my heart."

"Of course it's not your fault. It could never be. I'm trying to explain myself, explain how I felt."

"Why her? Why did you sleep with her? Why didn't you tell me how you were feeling? I thought we shared things with each other." Emily's tone had changed from anger to hurt.

"She told me she felt trapped too. She listened to how I felt. It was a moment of weakness Ems. I wish I could take it back but I can't, I really can't. We have to make this work, we have to. I don't know what I'd do without you."

Emily walked over and sat next to me on the bed. Tears rolled down her face. Her whole body was shaking. She turned to look at me.

"You should have thought about that when you were with her. Do you understand how much that hurts? You were with her. She touched you and kissed you and made love to you. Don't you know how much that hurts? I thought I was the only person that you did that with, the only person you ever wanted to do that with." Her voice was quiet, but still raw with emotion.

"You are," I said softly as I reached over and grabbed her hand. She let it be held.

"Then why was it so fucking easy for you to do it?" Her voice cracked. It took me back to the lake when she told me how she felt about me. Her voice cracked then and I ran. I did what I found easiest and I ran. I didn't want to run anymore though.

"It wasn't. It wasn't like that. I was drunk," I fumbled the words out, desperate for anything to try to justify my actions to her. I knew that I couldn't though. Nothing would justify it.

"But that doesn't make it okay Naomi," she said, her voice almost a whisper.

"I'm not using it as an excuse; it doesn't excuse what I did. Look, I can't take it back, I can't. But please... please let me make this better."

"I don't know if I can," Emily replied honestly.

"Emily, I'm begging you. Please." I reached up and held her face with both hands, brushing her tears away with my thumbs. "I can't be without you. I love you so fucking much. You're the best thing that has ever happened to me and I just know that I can't let that slip away. I hate myself so much for making you feel this way but I want to make it better. Please."

I closed my eyes and felt tears run down my face. Emily reached up and gently pulled my hands away from her face, pushing them back onto my own lap. I knew it was over at that point. My eyes remained shut and my head lowered, unable to comprehend what was happening.

I felt her shift slightly and before I knew it her lips were on mine. Kissing me gently.

We quickly fell into each other.

...

Emily lay on her side, facing away from me, her breathing slowly returning to normal. My arm was loosely draped over her naked form, my lips relaxing on the exposed skin of her neck.

"Ems, we can be okay. I promise. I will do anything to make this work," I murmured into her soft skin.

"It's not that easy Naomi." I felt her stiffen.

"I know it's not. But we're good together. We can be okay. I promise," I said as I pressed a gentle kiss to the back of her neck.

"It's not Naomi, I don't know how to deal with these feelings." She sat up suddenly and started picking her discarded clothes off of the floor.

"Ems, please... don't do that," I begged, desperate for her not to leave.

"I don't know how to deal with this Naomi. I've never loved someone and hated them at the same time." She glared at me before opening the door and leaving me in the room alone.


	16. Chapter 16

**Ain thanks to everyone who has read and reviewed so far. Can I have more reviews please? Pretty please?**

**I felt sad whilst writing this one...**

Emily hadn't spoken to me properly for days. We still shared the same bed but the distance between us grew emotionally and physically night after night. Each morning I'd wake up to find her gone, she obviously couldn't bear the thought of waking up with me, a reversal of our roles in the very early stages of our relationship. She barely acknowledged me at college, although she did put on a front whenever we were in the company of anyone else. I clung onto those moments, sad to realise that it was the only time of the day she'd actually talk to me, I savoured them. Even though it was only inane chat.

I decided that tonight I had to talk to her, I just had to. It had only been days and already I couldn't stand it. I stood in the kitchen staring at the clock knowing she'd be home any minute. My efforts were already placed on the table, I was fucking hopeless at cooking but making a meal was the only way I could think of getting Emily to actually sit down at the table with me. Hopefully she'd let me talk.

I heard a key turn in the door and the familiar sounds of Emily making her way hurriedly towards the stairs, in an effort to avoid me.

"Em, can you come here please?" I said gently, hoping that she wouldn't just ignore me.

She approached the doorway, red hair falling loosely around her face. She had dark rings underneath her eyes; I knew that she'd not slept well. I'd spent the past few nights listening to her sob silently, desperate to put my arm round her to comfort her but not quite brave enough to be faced with rejection again.

"What's this?" She asked in a stony voice, refusing to meet my gaze.

"I made you carbonara, your favourite. Thought you might be hungry," I said gesturing to the table.

She shook her head before turning on her heel, ready to walk out of the kitchen.

"Em, please," I begged in the smallest voice.

Emily sighed and lowered her head.

"Ok," she said softly, turning around and taking a seat at the table. This was a breakthrough I thought.

I immediately sat opposite her and picked up a fork. In all honesty I had no appetite but I started eating, not wanting to scare her away too soon by jumping into heavy conversation. I watched Emily carefully, she seemed to like the food. Every time she caught my gaze, she would immediately look away.

"It's rude to stare you know," she said eventually, in between another mouthful.

"Sorry," I mumbled weakly.

"Just off putting, you know?" She said glancing at me before concentrating on her plate again.

"Is the food ok?" I asked, taking the hint and not looking up at her.

"Yeah, "she replied with slight warmth to her voice. "Didn't know you could cook."

"I can't really, but this is one mum taught me a few years back." I smiled. I was beginning to enjoy the normality of the conversation, I was hopeful almost.

"Yeah well like I said, didn't know you could cook. Guess there's a few things I didn't know about you," she stated bitterly, turning things instantly.

"Emily please..." I started.

She cut me off suddenly by throwing her cutlery down onto the table.

"No. Don't Naomi. Just don't." She was glaring at me now, her hands gripping the top of the table.

"Emily, please just stay and finish dinner. I thought maybe we could talk after?" I pleaded, tears beginning to gather in my eyes.

She pushed her chair back and stood up quickly.

"No. You can't do that, you can't just cook me fucking dinner and think it makes everything alright. It doesn't ok, it doesn't." She turned around and headed out into the hall for the front door.

"Where are you going?" I shouted after her.

"Out. Just leave me alone," she replied, her voice cracking.

The door slammed shut forcefully behind her. I sat at the kitchen table with tears running down my face.

...

2.05am. I'd sent numerous texts to Emily asking where she was and if she was ok. She'd ignored every single one of them. I sat on the couch, silently urging her to come home, needing to know she was alright. Katie's number was typed into my phone, I'd been debating whether to call her or not, unsure if it would do any further damage.

The door slammed suddenly and a loud bang came from the hallway. I ran quickly to find Emily lying slumped against the wall, gripping an almost empty bottle of vodka. Her cheeks were stained with tracks of mascara. My eyes well up at the site.

"Ems," I whispered cautiously, as I knelt down beside her.

"What," she slurred, staring at the wall in front of her.

"I've been worried hun. Look at the state you are in. Come on, let's get you to bed," I said gently as I pulled the bottle from her hand.

"That how you get all the girls Naomi? Get them drunk and take them to bed? Worked for Sophia didn't it?" She spat, pulling the bottle from my hand and downing the remainder of the contents.

"Please don't do this. I know you hate me right now but please don't drink yourself stupid because of me," I said as I placed my hands around her arm in an attempt to stand her up.

"Fuck off. Just fuck off. Don't fucking touch me. I can get myself to bed." She stood up and fell back into the wall, dropping the now empty bottle to her side.

"Ok. Just let me walk behind you though, I don't want you falling back," I said as I motioned her towards the stairs.

"Yeah, you might actually feel guilty if you were responsible for two girls falling to their deaths," she mumbled as she reached for the banister and started climbing the stairs unsteadily.

I bit my lip as tears escaped. I'd never seen Emily like this before. She was so full of hatred for me right now.

She'd reached the top of the stairs and stumbled forward into the bedroom door, falling right through it and collapsing onto the bed face first. Her eyes were slightly open as she lay there staring into empty space.

"Em, you might want to take your shoes and stuff off, you'll be uncomfortable. I can help if you want?" I offered.

"Yeah," she slurred in reply.

I pulled her shoes off and placed them next to the chest of drawers before returning to the bed. I rolled Emily onto her back and she looked at me through heavy eyes. Tired eyes.

"Come on you," I said softly as I pulled her up into a sitting position and helped her to remove her top. "Will you manage the rest?"

"Yeah. Just get me a fucking t shirt or something to sleep in," she replied.

I stood up and walked over to the chest of drawers pulling out one of my large t shirts for Emily. She was sat on the bed with all of her clothes now on the floor. Her arms wrapped protectively over her naked body, tears building at the corners of her eyes. She was broken, yet somehow she was still the most beautiful thing I'd ever seen.

I sat back down beside her and lifted the t shirt carefully over her head, pulling her arms through the sleeves. She stared ahead, looking through me, her eyes vacant.

"Let me wash your face Ems, and then you can sleep."

I reached for make-up wipes on the bedside table and titled her face up towards me with my other hand. She closed her eyes as I gently removed the tracks of mascara and smudged eye liner from her face.

"There you are, done," I whispered. Her eyes fluttered open again and she lay back down onto the pillow.

"I'll get you some water," I said as I stood up and pulled the covers up over her shoulders. I turned towards the door and glanced back towards Emily who was staring at me.

"Naomi?" she said sleepily.

"Yeah?"

"Know what hurts the most Naomi? I still fucking love you despite it," she said as her eyes closed and she rolled over.


	17. Chapter 17

**Hello! Sorry that it has taken me so long to update this, just been kinda busy and struggled with this one. Got ideas for another 3 chapters in my head and then that will be the end of it.**

**Thank you to everyone who has read and reviewed so far - the reviews really encourage me. I'd like a few more though as I'm feeling unwell and currently typing this from bed. Bed day for me I think. Sympathy please?**

**Not entirely happy with this one...**

* * *

"So, you fucked the dead girl?" Effy stated, raising an eyebrow at me.

I met her eye for a moment before gazing back to my glass and twirling it nervously on the table, watching the rings of water it made.

"Yeah," I offered weakly.

"Fucking hell Naomi. That's why things have been so awkward between you both at college for the past few months," she replied.

I lifted my head and looked at her.

"Eff, I know it's been obvious that something's wrong. Emily's been trying to put on a front, acting normal at college or in front of you all. Just behind closed doors it's all shit," I mumbled, trying not to let emotion take over.

"I'm not judging you for it. You're not stupid; you must have had reasons for doing it.?"

"That's the thing, I don't have reasons. I'm such a fucking idiot," I replied.

Effy's hand moved over and covered mine stopping it from fiddling with the glass.

"What are you going to do Naomi?" She squeezed my hand and smiled sympathetically.

"What can I do, look at what I've done to her," I said with emotion filling my voice, tears welling up in my eyes. "It's all fucked up. She won't even look at me. When I walk into the room she walks out. She drinks all the fucking time and gets herself into some states. Look at today, she kissed that girl in front of everyone, in front of me."

"How did it make you feel?" Effy asked softly, her hand still on mine.

"I felt sick. I still do. Not because of what she did, but because of what it made me realise. It fucking hurt so much watching her do that, it broke my heart. But I'm not as broken as her. The pain I felt today was tiny, insignificant in comparison to hers. How on earth can I expect her to forgive me for sleeping with someone else? I don't think I want her to forgive me."

Tears were now falling down my face and I'd become far more aware of my surroundings. Freddie and JJ were standing at the bar, waiting for Keith to serve them. We'd escaped here after the disaster that was Emily's barbeque. I didn't want to leave Emily alone but Katie urged me to go, to give her some space to talk to Emily.

"Excuse me," I said as I stood from the table and made my way through the empty pub to the toilets.

I stood at the sinks splashing water onto my face. My reflection looked awful, my skin was blotchy and red from crying, my hair stuck to my face. Dark circles had formed underneath my eyes from a lack of sleep. Recently I'd spent most nights waiting up to all hours for Emily to come home, sometimes she stayed out all night.

"She's still there," a voice broke me from my thoughts. Effy. I turned round to meet her blue eyes.

"What?" I replied.

"She's still there, at your home. She would have left a long time ago if she didn't want to be with you."

...

I opened the living room door to find Emily asleep on the couch with a blanket covering her. She had it wrapped in her hands, held closely to her. Our blanket from our first night together. I walked over and knelt down in front of her, reaching out to tuck some stray red hairs behind her ear. She sighed in her sleep. Feeling brave, I leant forward and placed a long gentle kiss to her forehead, staying there to take in everything about her, everything I'd missed. I felt her hand reach up and grab my wrist, holding it tightly at the side of her face.

My heart quickened.

I pulled my head back slightly and opened my eyes to be met by hers. She looked at me carefully for a few seconds before closing the distance and brushing her lips softly against mine. I kissed her back, gently taking her bottom lip between my lips before I felt her pull away. She let go of my wrist and I opened my eyes.

"Sorry," she breathed, her eyes still closed.

"Sssh. Just go back to sleep Ems," I whispered in reply. She nodded slowly before sinking back down.

I turned around and stood up, walking towards the door, closing it gently before making my way to the kitchen. I shuffled quietly through the hallway and stopped when I noticed a figure in front of me.

"Katie?" I said somewhat surprised.

She was sitting at the kitchen table, flicking through a magazine. She looked up at me and scowled.

"Ok Katie. Get it over with. Have a go at me. Just don't fucking shout so loud that you wake up Emily."

She shook her head.

"Sit down," came her response as she gestured to the empty seat opposite her.

I sat down and she glared at me.

"Let's get one thing straight Naomi, yeah? I fucking hate you for what you've done to her. Look at the fucking mess she's in because you couldn't keep your lezzer hands to yourself. The only reason I'm not knocking you into next week is because Ems told me not to. Can't understand why but she told me not to."

I nodded sheepishly and sighed.

"Katie, I hate myself for what I've done to her. I'm so fucking worried about her."

"Yeah well, we've got enough going on in our lives without you fucking adding to it Campbell," she spat.

"Have your parents found somewhere to stay?" I asked timidly.

"We've just got back from seeing them at the old house. Dad had found a caravan but mum's managed to find a small flat that we can move into straight away, which is something I suppose. When I say small, it is small. So fucking cramped." She sighed and rubbed at her temples with her finger tips.

"You can stay here Katie," I offered.

"With you? I don't fucking think so," she replied, her voice angering quickly.

"Not for me, but for Emily. Katie I've tried to speak to her but she won't listen. She's out all the time, drinking and taking god knows what. She's always in a state and it kills me to know that I'm the cause of it. Sometimes she doesn't come home and I worry so much about her. Her exams are so soon and she's going to fuck them up unless this stops. I can't stand the thought of her fucking up her future because of me. I need your help Katie, not for me but for her."

I met Katie's gaze, almost pleading with her.

"Ok. For Emily," she nodded.

"Thank you," I breathed out quietly.

Katie stood up and walked away from the table, making her way to the door.

"I'm going to check on Ems. I don't understand it Naomi, but she still loves you. She wouldn't be here otherwise," she said before turning away.


	18. Chapter 18

**I know that my last chapter wasn't the greatest (the paltry number of reviews confirms this).**

**Here is the next instalment, a bit angsty, then a bit nice. Perhaps one more after this to finish it off.**

**Again, thank you to all the people who have read and reviewed so far - especially the reviewers, it really encourages me.**

* * *

My house was wrecked after the police left. Turned top to bottom. Cook was long gone after jumping out of the upstairs window. I couldn't be angry at him though, not after everything he'd done for me. Katie and Panda had gone out, leaving me in the house on my own with Emily.

I opened the bedroom door to find her picking things up from the floor, trying to put the room back together after everything had been thrown around by the police.

"Emily, just leave it," I said quietly.

"No, I'll help sort it. This is my room too," she replied.

"It's not though Emily. I meant it, I think you should go." My reply was harsh and cold.

"I love you," came her whispered response.

She didn't love me. How could she? She'd been fucking that girl. I thought that they were just friends but the whole time it was more than that. I'd made one mistake but Emily had done this repeatedly, deliberately. Mandy had stayed over a few times, Emily had probably fucked her in my bed. She'd probably fucked her when I was in the house.

"Go Emily, just go!" I spat, feeling the anger rising inside of me.

"What the fuck Naomi? I've just told you that I love you, what you want to hear and you're telling me to go?" she shouted back.

"That's it though, it's what I want to hear but you don't mean it. How could you? It's all just fucking lies Emily, just lies."

"What on earth are you on about Naomi? I do mean it. I do love you," she stated, her voice getting increasingly angry.

I sighed and sat down on the edge of the bed, my head in my hands. I could feel Emily move next to me, her hand reaching up to pull mine away from my face. She let out a heavy breath as she felt me flinch at the contact.

"Are you going to tell me what this is? Or are you going to shutdown like normal?" she asked.

"We can't go on like this Emily, we're ruining each other. It's got to stop," I stated calmly. I didn't want to bring up Mandy. I couldn't stand hearing more lies from Emily, or worse than that, her confirming it with the truth.

Emily lifted my chin and forced me to look at her. Her eyes clung on to unshed tears, her face was filled with sadness.

"I know I've pushed you away Naomi but you hurt me. I do love you though, I've never stopped. Can't we just try?" Her lip began to tremble.

"What you've got to understand is that you're not the only one that's been hurting Em," I said honestly.

"We've lasted all this time though Naomi, we didn't give in straight away," she pleaded.

"But we've not Emily. We've been destroying each other, piece by piece. Living together but not together. One extreme to the other. Arguing, shouting in each others faces and then weeks of not uttering a word to each other. We've not had a proper relationship since Sophia. You can barely stand me looking at you, you flinch every time I touch you. I can't even remember the last time we kissed or made love. It can't go on, I don't have the strength to do it anymore." I whispered that last line and wiped away tears that had began to roll down my face.

"So that's it? You're giving up on us?" she replied with a bitterness to her voice.

"I never did."

"The problem was Naomi that you said you'd do anything to save us and you didn't. You didn't fight for us. You didn't give me time to be angry, to be hurt and to try to heal. You wanted things to be back to normal and you never wanted to fight through the hard times. You let me go on self destruct mode and you let our relationship be destroyed."

Emily stood up from the bed and made her way to the door.

"I fucking love you despite it all. I just can't believe this is over," she shouted angrily before slamming the bedroom door and making her way out of the house.

I watched at the window as she left the front garden, leaving me alone in the house.

...

"Hi darling, two phone calls in one day, aren't I lucky?"

"Mum," I said in a small voice, almost cracking with emotion.

I knew that she'd be able to tell straight away that something was wrong.

"Naomi, what's the matter? You sound upset." She asked quickly.

"It's all over mum," I sobbed.

"With Emily? What's happened?" she replied.

I paused then sighed, knowing that I'd have to tell her everything.

"Mum, I cheated on her months ago with another girl. I lied about it and then she found out. It fucking killed me to see how much I'd hurt her. I begged her not to leave me and she didn't. She stayed with me. It's been hell though, we've not been a couple and have barely spoken for months. Just argued or deliberately tried to hurt each other. Today I told her it was over and asked her to leave." I stopped and awaited her reaction.

"Fuck's sake Naomi. I can't believe you cheated on her, but I can't judge you for it. I know you and as stubborn and stupid as you are at times, you must have had reasons for it?" she replied calmly.

"I was scared mum, I loved her so much and it terrified me. You are the only person who I've loved that's never fucked off and left me. I couldn't stand for Emily to do that to me, I couldn't stand the hold she had over me so I fucked it up and hurt us both before she could." I began to sob again, this time more heavily.

"Oh Naomi you are so stupid," she stated.

"Thanks mum," I replied sarcastically, through my tears. "I thought you might be supportive."

"I am darling, but you have got to understand that Emily is special. I've seen the way that girl looked at you, the chances you took with her family for you. She loves you. Some people in this life turn out to be right bastards, but love, you've got to understand that all people aren't like that. You've got to let people in and give them a chance."

"You're right mum," I said softly. "But what can I do? It's too late with her."

"Have you told her how you really feel? I mean cut the bullshit, just be completely honest for once."

"No," I whispered.

"Then you've got to. Go get her and tell her, take a risk. It's not going to be easy but love never is. You never know unless you try," she advised.

"Thank you mum. I love you," I said before hanging up.

I threw my phone to the side and lay back on my bed. Emily's belongings were in bags at the bottom of the bed. I didn't want to take them downstairs and leave them for her to collect, it made everything seem too final.

My phone beeped, bringing me out of my daze. I picked it up to find a text message from Effy.

...

"Hey blondie," he said as he took another drag on the cigarette and slumped further back against the cold damp wall.

I took a step towards him and leant against the wall myself, mirroring him.

"Hey Cook," I said simply, greeting him with a warm smile.

"Fucking glad you made up with red, about fucking time blondie," he grinned.

"Christ I know Cook. I've been such an idiot, we've both been destroying each other for the past few months and pretty much forgot how much we loved each other. Give me a draw of that," I said with a sigh.

Cook shook his head before taking a packet of cigarettes from his pocket and lighting me my own one. I closed my eyes as the warm smoke filled my lungs.

"That was brave of you Naomi, what you did in there. I know it aint easy for you to speak like that," he said as he moved closer and pushed his arm around me.

"I had to Cook. I'd have lost her otherwise," I replied honestly as I leant into him.

"Well she's a lucky girl to have you babe. Guess this means I'm definitely never going to shag you then?" He laughed.

"I don't think so Cook. I do love you though, seriously everything you've done for me..." I started, my voice beginning to tremble with emotion.

"Hey ssh, I fucking love you blondie, don't you forget that," he said as he pulled me closer and kissed the side of my head, his stubble scratching against my face.

The door opened beside us and a soft voice distracted us from our moment.

"Hey Cook, think I can get my girl back for a second?" Emily said, grinning at us.

"Sure thing Emilio, sure thing," he said as he stubbed out his cigarette before heading towards the shed door. "Just one thing ladies, if there's lots of make-up sex remember to let the Cookie Monster get in on a little action, surely I deserve some?"

"Fuck off Cook," Emily laughed as she playfully slapped his arm as he walked past her.

"Worth a try," he said wiggling his eyebrows suggestively at me before disappearing inside.

Emily walked over and stood next to me, taking Cook's spot against the wall.

"It's cold out here babe, you ok?" she asked as she reached down to link her fingers with my free hand.

"Yeah just needed some fresh air," I replied.

"Fresh air? You're smoking Naomi," she said with a giggle as she squeezed my hand.

"Sorry," I mumbled as I stubbed out the cigarette.

Emily suddenly moved in front of me and pushed me back into the wall with her body. She brought both of her hands up to my cheeks and gave me a warm smile.

"Honey, you don't ever have to say sorry to me again," she whispered before pressing her lips against mine.

I smiled into the soft kiss and wrapped my arms around her back, holding her close to me. She pulled her lips back and pressed her forehead gently against mine, gazing into my eyes.

"You are such a beautiful person Naomi."

A single tear escaped and ran down my face. Emily smiled at me again and delicately kissed away my tear.

"Sorry Ems, just feeling a little emotional," I breathed out onto her.

"There's that word again Campbell," she replied before capturing my lips with hers again, this time a little more forceful.

Emily pushed her hips up into mine and began to run her hands down my sides. I wrapped my arms around her tighter, pulling her as close to me as I could. Her lips worked against mine quickly, her tongue pushing mine apart and making its way into my mouth. Hands made their way to my thighs, tracing up them, nails digging into my legs. I groaned as Emily's lips left mine and started attacking my neck. Her hands pushed to the top of my thighs, her fingers desperately trying to rub against me through the material.

"Ems. Emily," I choked out between strained breaths.

She moved her head back and met my gaze, her face wearing a worried expression.

"Babe, it's ok. Don't look so worried," I whispered.

She smiled back at me, still trying to catch her breath.

"I just think... I just think we should go home rather than do this here where someone will probably see us. We can go home where it's warm and comfortable, relax in our bed and make love there. What do you think?"

"You're right, but we should probably say goodbye to the others. Let's do that and then go home," she smiled again before giving me a gentle kiss on the cheek.

...

I'd barely closed the door before a slightly drunk Emily had dragged me upstairs and pushed me onto the bed before climbing on top of me.

"You. Are. Fucking. Beautiful. I. Want. You. Now," she breathed into my neck, punctuating each word with a kiss.

She sat up, straddling me and pulled her dress over her head, revealing her toned body. Her chest rising and falling quickly with heavy breaths. I lay motionless looking up at her, my eyes fixated on her. Suddenly this felt wrong. I turned my head to the side and brought my hands up to my face.

"Nai? Honey, what's wrong?" Her voice was full of concern.

I closed my eyes and sighed heavily. Emily moved her hands to mine and gently pulled them away from my face.

"Look at me Naomi," she urged gently.

I turned my head to face Emily. I opened my eyes to be met by her brown eyes, welling up with tears.

"Fuck," I mumbled and bit my lip. I didn't want to upset her.

"What have I done wrong?" she pleaded, her hands gripping onto mine tightly.

I managed to push myself up so that I was sitting with Emily on my lap.

"Nothing babe. You've done nothing wrong. It's just..." I trailed off, struggling to finish the sentence.

"Just what Naoms?" Her voice almost a whisper.

"Look I love you so much, I've told you that tonight... my walls are gone now, you know that. I'm just, I'm just really nervous," I fumbled out weakly.

"Nervous?" she enquired with the quirk of an eyebrow.

"Yes, nervous," I admitted.

"Nai, what have you got to be nervous about? It's not as if we've never slept with each other and it's not as if you don't know what you're doing, believe me," she grinned at me.

My lips curved into a slight smile at that.

"I know, but not like this. Every time I've slept with you it's meant a lot to me, but not like this. God, this is hard for me to explain."

Emily squeezed my hands and smiled at me, her face only inches from mine.

"Go on, I think you're doing ok so far," she said with her breath warm against my skin.

"I lost you and it made me see exactly how much you mean to me, just how much in love with you I am. And before, I never quite knew the depth of those feelings, but now I do. It just makes me feel nervous, this is a really big deal to me now," I said shakily.

Emily pulled her hands from mine and wrapped her arms around me tightly before kissing my forehead. She pulled back and looked into my eyes, her smile wide.

"You are so adorable at times. I love you even more for it. But just so you know, you never have to be nervous with me. It's just you and me."

I smiled back at her.

"I know. And I just don't want this to be some hazy memory tomorrow, we've both had quite a bit to drink Ems. Would you mind if we didn't tonight?" I bit my lip again nervously.

"Of course I don't honey. How can I say that I mind? Would you rather we went to sleep?"

"No. Can we just cuddle and talk? I've missed just being with you, being close to you. I've missed that so much," I replied.

"Ok then, lets get changed for bed and we can do that," she answered before kissing me lightly on the lips.

Emily stood up from the bed, moved over to the wardrobe and found one of my tshirts. She quickly undressed and slipped it over her head before moving back over towards me.

"One thing Nai, you need to wear something. I don't think I can keep my hands to myself if you are naked," she smirked.

...

"Ems, what time is it?" I asked groggily, my eyes struggling to stay open.

"Half four babe," she replied, lightly stroking my hair.

"Fucking hell, we've been up talking for over two hours," I mumbled.

We'd lay together in the same position the whole time, my head resting on Emily's chest, her fingers playing with my hair. Just talking. Talking about everything that had happened over the past few months. The fights, the drugs, drinking. The lies. We'd decided it was best to get it all out in the open, so we could move on and start again.

"Naoms, there's one more thing I need to tell you before we're done," she whispered.

My heart raced. The one subject we'd not broached was that girl. Mandy.

"Go on," I said shakily.

"Erm, well, I just think I should probably tell you what happened with Mandy. I don't want it to be something that you wonder about or something that gets to you."

"Emily, you don't have to explain it..." I began.

"No," she cut me off. "I do."

"Ok Emily. Talk," I replied weakly.

"I thought she was straight at first Naomi, I honestly did. She seemed to be good at listening, a distraction. Mandy was outside of our group, she didn't know us and didn't automatically take sides. I enjoyed spending time with her."

Emily felt me stiffen against her and reassuringly squeezed my arm, pulling me tighter to her. She let out a sigh before continuing.

"Then she told me she had feelings for me. Apparently she had all along. It freaked me out, the only person I wanted to have feelings for me was you. I told Mandy that and explained that we could only be friends. JJ saw us together in the pub and it worried me; I didn't want you to think that it was anything more than friendship with her."

She paused again, taking a deep breath. I moved my head from her chest and sat up to look at her. My heart was racing and as much as it could hurt, I needed to know the truth.

"Emily, it's ok," I whispered, looking her in the eye and taking her hand in mine.

"There was this one night though, when we'd gotten pretty drunk. Things were shit again between us, we'd just finished our exams and you had spent most of your time smoking weed and drinking. Anyway, this night, we were drunk and she kissed me. It got heated pretty quickly but I couldn't do it. I realised that I would only be using her to try to hurt you. It wasn't fair on her and it wasn't fair on you."

"You never slept with her?" I questioned, watching her eyes well up.

"No. I wanted to. I was going to but I couldn't. She admitted that she'd never slept with anyone before and I didn't want to be the one to take that from her when I knew that I was only using her. I'm sorry, I just had to tell you," Emily quivered.

"Hey, it's ok. I'm glad you told me. Do not be sorry. We were both fucked up."

"I never slept with anyone else Nai. I kissed people, but I couldn't sleep with anyone," she said honestly, tears now escaping.

"It's ok. It's done, in the past. We've got to move on together now. Come here," I said as I pulled her into my arms.

"Fucking hell, this is all a bit overwhelming Nai," she mumbled against my shoulder.

"I know, but we've done it now. We had to say these things. It's just us now. No more drama, no more fighting. Just us." I ran my hands up and down her back, then placed a gentle, reassuring kiss to the side of her head.

She pulled back from my shoulder and looked me in the eyes.

"Kiss me."


	19. Chapter 19

**Thank you so much to all readers and reviewers of this to date, they seriously mean a lot.**

**Sorry that it has taken me so long to get this up, been very busy at work.**

**So this is the final instalment. It's a bit shorter than normal, but we all like a nice happy ending don't we? I've also switched to third person for this final chapter (just seemed right somehow).**

**Anyway ...**

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Naomi opened her eyes and gazed around the room, that familiar panel of early morning sunlight giving it a warm glow. Her eyes drew in to the red head sleeping close to her. Emily's head was tucked neatly into the crook of her neck, soft shallow breaths fell against her skin. Naomi's arms ached, they held Emily's body close to her own, wrapped protectively around her. She didn't mind though, not one bit. She was the happiest she'd been for a long time. She could quite happily stay like this forever watching the smaller girl sleep.

Naomi was taken from her daze by the sensation of Emily's soft lips on her neck. She sighed happily and wrapped her up tighter.

"So you're awake?" the blonde whispered quietly.

"Mm hmm," Emily replied, her lips ghosting over Naomi's skin.

"Morning," Naomi breathed, her mouth curving at the sides.

Emily withdrew her lips and moved back slightly, settling her head comfortably onto the pillow so that she could face Naomi.

"Morning to you too," she smiled.

Naomi returned her smile and brought a hand up to Emily's face, her fingers gently stroked along her cheek.

"Sleep ok Ems?" Naomi enquired.

"Yeah. How about you?"

Naomi couldn't help but smile, "I slept the best I have in a long time."

Emily reached up for her hand and brought it to her mouth, kissing each one of Naomi's knuckles in turn.

"Good," she finally replied. "It can only get better."

Naomi pulled her hand away from Emily's and slid her fingers down her neck, resting them against the collar of her t shirt. She watched her hands play with the material there.

"Hungover?"

"Not really," Emily replied. "You?"

"My head hurts a little, but I don't care, it's not important," Naomi beamed back.

Her hand continued to fiddle with the neck of Emily's t shirt, her fingers daring to slip underneath it every so often and trace along her collar bone.

"You're not annoyed that we didn't ... last night are you?" Naomi asked, her eyes still fixed on her fingers that were touching Emily.

"No, of course not," Emily stated.

"Good," Naomi replied, snapping her eyes back to Emily's.

"So," Emily started before clearing her throat. "Are you still... nervous?" She whispered the last word.

Naomi smiled at her and pulled her in for a kiss, her lips meeting the other girls softly, tenderly. She pulled back slightly and rested her forehead against Emily's.

"No. No I'm not," she breathed.

Emily smiled wide and pushed her lips back meet Naomi's, kissing her with more force. Naomi groaned into her mouth and wrapped her arms around Emily's back, pulling her body on top of her own. They continued to kiss frantically, with hands roaming over bodies, desperate to rediscover each other. Emily broke the kiss suddenly and moved her face a few inches from Naomi's, hovering just above her. She stared into the blonde girls eyes, both of them trying to get their breath back.

"Maybe we need to slow down a bit before we kill each other," Naomi grinned.

Emily smiled and sat right up, resting on Naomi's thighs. She reached out for Naomi's hands and gently pulled her up so that they were sitting face to face. Her lips lowered to Naomi's neck and kissed a soft trail up towards her ear.

"We can be as slow as you like, we've got all the time in the world," Emily smiled before gently nipping her earlobe and returning to look her in the eyes.

Naomi's fingers wandered to the hem of Emily's t shirt and tugged on it gently, as if asking for permission to remove it. Emily nodded and lifted her arms up to help Naomi lift her top over her head. Naomi's breathing hitched at the sight in front of her.

"You're beautiful," she said, staring at Emily's body.

She ran her fingers up and down Emily's sides, watching in fascination as the skin shivered underneath her touch.

"It's what you do to me," Emily whispered huskily before pressing her body back to Naomi's and gently pushing her down.

...

"You ok?" Naomi asked whilst running her thumb over the back of her hand that was linked with Emily's.

Emily smiled lazily and rolled onto her front, resting her head on the pillow, facing the other girl.

"More than ok," she whispered in response.

Her fingers trailed up and down the soft skin of Naomi's bare stomach. She winced slightly as she felt how prominent the blonde girls ribs were, they'd not been like that before.

"Babe," she started cautiously.

"Yeah?" Naomi asked.

"I don't want you to take this the wrong way but you've lost a lot of weight. You've gotten a bit too skinny," she said as she placed her palm flat against Naomi's stomach.

Naomi sighed and brought her hand down to cover Emily's.

"Well I guess that's what a diet of vodka and weed does to you," she offered weakly.

Emily smiled at her sympathetically before rubbing her stomach gently.

"Suppose I better take care of you then. Feed you up a bit."

"What if I get fat?" Naomi asked, raising an eyebrow.

"Then there will be more of you to love," Emily whispered as she moved in to kiss her softly.

Naomi laughed against her lips and wrapped her arms around the redhead. Emily pulled away and tucked her head into the crook of Naomi's neck.

"I love you," the blonde stated.

"I know."

"So Ems, what do you want to do today?"

"I was thinking, we could just stay like this for a bit," Emily replied, squeezing against her tighter.


	20. Chapter 20

**So, I decided that this fic was finished. And then I changed my mind...**

**I was going to write this as a sequel, but it follows on immediately from where this left off, so I've put it on here. Hope that's ok. Got a few ideas for coming chapters.**

**Thanks to everyone who has read and reviewed. Also if you think continuing this spoils what I've already written, then please let me know.**

**

* * *

**

"Mmm, you're all warm," Emily breathed as she pressed herself closer into Naomi's body and pulled the blondes arms tighter around her front.

"I know, I could lie here all day," Naomi mumbled into Emily's bare shoulder before placing a gentle kiss to the exposed skin.

"Hmm, I think we pretty much have babe. What time is it?"

Naomi stretched her neck and glanced around at the clock sitting on her bedside table.

"4pm. No point in getting up really Em, it'll be bed time again before you know it. I'm looking forward to it already," Naomi said as she returned her lips to Emily's shoulder and nipped slightly at the skin with her teeth.

"Hmm, think the nerves have well and truly gone now Naoms," Emily moaned in appreciation at the blondes touches.

Naomi stopped and rested her head on the other girls shoulder.

"Well you know, it's like riding a bike, you never forget how to do it," Naomi replied.

Emily stiffened and turned to face Naomi. Her eyes met blue ones that were slightly unsure.

"Ems, that didn't come out the way it sounded in my head," Naomi stated.

The redhead shot her a playful look and raised an eyebrow.

"So having sex with me is like riding a bike is it? Hmm, I don't like the implication that I'm promiscuous Campbell. I think you're forgetting that you're my first, if we ignore the whole two minute experience that was JJ."

Naomi laughed.

"Really? Two minutes Ems? You could have blinked and missed it," she teased.

"That's including the 30 seconds I made him stop for, to calm himself down. Poor JJ. Anyway, as I said apart from those two minutes, you are my only. So the riding a bike analogy doesn't work with me I'm afraid. I think an apology is in order."

Emily stared at Naomi, a slight smile upon her lips.

"Ok. I'm sorry. A classic case of foot in mouth," Naomi replied.

She smiled at Emily and wrapped her arms around her back, pulling her in for a soft kiss.

"Apology accepted," Emily whispered in between kisses.

Emily pulled back slightly and rested her forehead against the blondes.

"So, foot in mouth Naomi? That doesn't sound too appealing. However, I can think of better things to put in my mouth," she smirked at Naomi, whose eyes had darkened slightly.

"Yeah? Do tell," the blonde began as she traced kisses along Emily's jaw.

"Well for a start, food. I'm starving."

Naomi groaned and returned her eyes to Emily's.

"Seriously babe, I'm kissing your neck and all you can think of is food?"

Emily nodded and smiled.

"God you're frustrating Fitch," Naomi laughed as she rolled onto her back and stared at the ceiling.

"You seem to inspire it in me," Emily replied. "Besides, we've spent the most part of the day burning calories. I think we've got to eat. And, I promised to look after you and feed you up, I can't have you passing out on me on the first day, can I?"

"I suppose not," Naomi mumbled.

Emily pulled back the covers and climbed out of bed, throwing on one of Naomi's tshirts. Naomi lay back and watched her move around the room, smiling at her.

"You seen my phone babe?" Emily asked.

"Think you left it downstairs with your bag, you were in a rush to get up here remember?" Naomi replied grinning.

"Ah, think I did. I'd better check it."

Emily moved back towards the bed and leaned down to kiss Naomi. She let her fingers trail down the blonde's body and patted her stomach.

"Better get you some food," she whispered against Naomi's lips before turning and making her way out of the room.

Naomi wrapped herself back up in the sheets and lay contentedly breathing in the scent of Emily on her pillow. She could hear Emily moving around downstairs, singing away to herself. A grin broke across her face as she thought about how adorably out of tune the other girl sounded. She glanced around at the clock and was again reminded of how late in the day it was.

"Better shower," she mumbled to herself and climbed out of bed to make her way to the bathroom.

Naomi switched on the shower and stared at her reflection in the mirror whilst waiting for the water to heat up. Her face smiled at her. She couldn't remember the last time that she had looked in the mirror and seen her face filled with happiness, instead of puffy eyes and tear stained cheeks. It's all over now she thought to herself. She climbed into the shower and let the warm water run all over her body.

...

"Em?" she called out from the top of the stairs. "You've been down there a while, everything ok?"

There was no response.

"Hmm," Naomi sighed as she quickly pulled on some clothes and roughly dried her hair with the towel.

She wandered downstairs and headed towards the kitchen. Emily was sat at the table with her head in her hands crying quietly. Pieces of porcelain scattered the floor, Naomi immediately recognised that they would fit together as her favourite cup. The one that her mother had bought her when she was younger. She leant slightly against the door fame, smiling sympathetically towards Emily.

"Oh Em, it's only a cup. You don't need to get upset," she smiled and walked over to the redhead and placed her hand firmly on her shoulder.

Emily didn't move.

"Come on babe, it's ok. You don't need to get upset," Naomi reiterated.

Emily sighed and took a deep breath.

"It's not that," she mumbled weakly.

The blonde immediately became concerned and pulled a chair around, sitting down to face the other girl, who continued to sit with her head in her hands.

"Katie called. They've found Freddie," Emily stated shakily.

"Found? What do you mean by found? Em, look at me," Naomi urged.

Emily removed her hands from her face and looked the blonde in the eyes. Her hands instinctively reached out and covered Naomi's own.

"They've found his body. He's dead."


	21. Chapter 21

**Thank to all readers and reviewers - really appreciate all of them.**

**There's so many great fics on this site, my favourites at the moment include: "What a beautiful mess", "Somewhere I have never travelled", "With you in my head". "Tell me a story" could possibly be the cutest fic I've ever read, it's just so nice. And "Outside of the lines" woah, that last chapter was pretty intense, cannot wait for the next one ;)**

**Now on to this, it's all pretty sad :(**

**Reviews would make me happier after writing about all these tears...**

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"Dead?" Naomi questioned, her eyes searching Emily's to see if it really was true.

Emily looked back at her and squeezed her hands, not quite sure of what Naomi's reaction would be.

"Yeah," Emily whispered closing her eyes, allowing tears to escape again.

"Fuck."

"I know."

"But how, I... I mean I don't get it. I mean where did they... How Ems?" Naomi asked as she stood suddenly and began to pace the room.

Emily opened her eyes and followed the blonde's erratic movements.

"Katie doesn't know much. Just Karen had phoned to tell them."

"Them? Phoned to tell who exactly?"

"Katie stayed with Effy last night, to give us space. I think it was just her and Katie when she called. I don't know," Emily replied, her voice small.

"What about Cook, where is he?"

"I don't know," the redhead sighed.

"What do you mean you don't know?" Naomi snapped.

"I don't know Naomi. I know as much as you."

"Sorry, it's just a fucking shock that's all. Sorry I'm just a bit... fuck I don't know what I'm trying to say," the blonde admitted as she leant against the kitchen worktop. Her hands found their way to her head and she ran them shakily through her hair. She looked at Emily apologetically.

"You're just shocked. I am too. This is all just a bit mental," Emily said, nodding as she spoke, acknowledging Naomi's apology.

"Yeah," Naomi agreed, sinking further against the worktop.

"Katie's coming round."

Naomi stared at her hands and looked confused when she noticed blood. Her eyes moved back over to Emily and realised where it had come from.

"You've cut your hand Emily. Let me clean it up. I think there's some glass in it," she said as she began to search through cupboards for something, slamming the doors shut in quick succession when she couldn't find what she wanted.

"Naomi, fuck, will you just stop it. Just fucking sit down for a minute. I'm freaking out too you know," Emily sobbed.

Naomi turned around and faced her, guilt etched all over her face at the sight of the other girl in tears.

"Sorry, I'm sorry. This is just so surreal," she said as she moved over to the smaller girl and wrapped her arms around her.

"I don't think I can get my head round this Nai," Emily mumbled onto her shoulder.

"Ssh. We don't know too much at the moment. I guess we've just gotta wait on Katie coming round to see if she knows more."

"You're right. This is just mad," Emily replied as she pulled back from the embrace to look at Naomi.

"Go have a shower Ems, might make you feel a bit more refreshed. I'll clean up down here before Katie comes."

...

"Hi."

Naomi was startled from her daze and turned round to face the owner of the voice that had greeted her. Katie stood at the kitchen door nervously, her face pale apart from the redness around her eyes.

"Hey," Naomi mumbled. "Emily is upstairs. Come in Katie, have a seat."

Katie sat down and fiddled nervously with tissue scrunched up in her hand. Naomi sat down opposite her and stared into the space behind Katie, not quite sure what to say. She knew that things would be easier if Emily was there.

"She shouldn't be long," Naomi mumbled.

Katie looked at her and nodded, then returned her eyes to her hands.

"I don't know what to say Katie. I can't get my head around this," Naomi admitted.

"I don't think we're meant to know what to say," Katie replied.

"Do you know what happened?"

"Cook somehow ended up at Effy's therapist's house, John something."

"Foster?"

"Yeah. Cook beat the shit out of him and called the police before he took it too far," Katie took a deep breath. "He'd found Freddie's body in Foster's house."

"Fucking hell. Freddie was killed?"

"I... I don't know. All we know is Cook called the police and handed himself in after hurting Foster. He told them where Freddie's body was." Katie's voice broke and she began to cry again.

Naomi sat back in her chair, dumbfounded at what she'd just heard.

"Effy's a fucking mess Naomi. She won't talk, she's gone into lockdown. She's just staring at the wall. Her mum's terrified to leave her in case she does something," Katie continued.

"Fuck," Naomi repeated.

"Is that all you can say?" Katie snapped. "Our friend is dead, been killed by some nutter, our other friend is having a mental breakdown again, she's gonna have to get sectioned again and all you can say is fuck?"

Naomi watched as tears ran freely from Katie's eyes, her whole face contorted in pain. She reached out and did the only thing she could think of.

"Katie, I'm sorry. Come here," she said as she pulled the other girl towards her.

Katie reluctantly accepted the gesture at first but soon settled into the comforting embrace.

"I just don't know what to do," she cried against Naomi's shoulder.

"We don't either," Naomi replied rubbing her back gently, "but we're here."

Katie clung onto her for several minutes, shaking as all of her emotion spilled out. Naomi lifted her head and watched as Emily stood in the door way, her eyes filled with tears. She gently pushed on Katie's shoulders and turned her round to face Emily, who immediately moved towards her sister and wrapped her arms around her.

...

"Thought I might find you out here," Emily whispered as she stepped out onto the patio.

Naomi looked over her shoulder and smiled briefly before turning back around. She put her cigarette to her lips and inhaled deeply, letting the hot smoke fill her lungs. Emily moved closer and sat on the path next to the blonde, sliding her arm around her lower back then placed a soft kiss to her bare shoulder.

"What are you doing out here? Katie will wonder where you are," Naomi said quietly.

"She's asleep. I went to your room to check that you were ok and found an empty bed. Figured you'd be out here," Emily replied as she allowed her fingers to trace along the bare skin of Naomi's back where her top had ridden up slightly.

"Our room Emily. Our room," Naomi corrected.

Emily leant into the blonde.

"You couldn't sleep?"

Naomi stubbed out her cigarette and turned to look at her.

"Keep thinking too much Ems, I'm worried sick about Cook," Naomi said as she laced her fingers with Emily's free hand.

"I know. That was a brave thing he done," Emily stated.

"He didn't have a choice. I just need to see him," the blonde sighed.

"He did have a choice; he didn't take the easy option you know. We'll make sure you do Nai, as soon as you're allowed to visit."

"Effy must just be numb. I keep thinking how I would feel if I was her and I just can't imagine the pain. She fucking loved him and never got to tell him how much. I almost never told you how much I love you..." Naomi's voice cracked on the last words of her sentence.

Emily's eyes filled up and she gripped her girlfriend's hand tighter.

"You did though," Emily whispered through her tears and brought Naomi's hand to her lips kissing it. "As hard as this is and as much as this is going to tear us all up, we've got each other. We don't know how to deal with this sort of thing, no one fucking does. But we've got each other. I can help you and you can help me."

"You always know how to make me feel better," Naomi responded.

"I love you, that's why," Emily smiled.

They sat for a few minutes in a comfortable silence, both leaning against one another. Naomi wrapped her arm around Emily's shoulders and pulled her body in close to her own.

"Right, you're getting cold. You'd better get back to bed, if Katie wakes up she's going to wonder where you are. She needs you right now," Naomi said before leaning in and kissing Emily on the cheek.

"I know," the red head replied as she stared at Naomi with her brow furrowed.

"What?"

Emily sighed and looked at Naomi sadly. "I know Katie needs me, but... but I need you. I don't want to go to sleep without you."

"I'm glad you said that. Come on," Naomi replied smiling as she stood up.

She extended her hand to Emily to pull her up too. Both of them went inside the house and Naomi led Emily upstairs towards the spare room. Naomi pushed the door open gently and stared at Katie sleeping soundly on one side the bed.

"You'd better sleep in the middle Ems. Katie will freak if she wakes up next to me," Naomi whispered, careful not to wake the sleeping girl.


	22. Chapter 22

**Again, thanks to all readers and reviewers. I've not got a great deal of time to update at the moment but I will when I can.**

**Hope you like this chapter :)**

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Naomi yawned and stretched her arms high above her, careful not to wake the sleeping redhead who was cuddled tightly into her. She stared at the ceiling above, eyes tracing over the unfamiliar patterns as she remembered that she had spent the night in the spare room with Emily and Katie.

"Morning," Katie whispered.

Naomi turned round and looked towards the girl at the far side of the bed, offering her a smile.

"Hey. Sorry, hope you don't mind," the blonde whispered in response, acknowledging that she might not be welcomed.

"Course not," Katie replied softly.

At that moment Emily stirred in her sleep and moved onto her side, pushing her body close into Naomi's and settling her face in the warm crook of Naomi's neck. Naomi slid one hand around the smaller girls back, pulling her closer before pressing a gentle kiss to her head. Katie watched on, admiring the intimacy the two girls shared.

"You really love her?" Katie questioned.

"More than anything," Naomi replied, keeping her eyes firmly fixed on Katie's.

"What you said the other night?" Katie continued.

"I meant every word of it. I'd do anything for her," Naomi replied, her fingers tightening her grip on Emily's back slightly.

"Good," Katie smiled. "I'm glad she has you back in her life like this, you made her the happiest I've ever seen her."

Naomi blushed and smiled back at Katie. It meant a lot to her that Katie was finally showing her acceptance in spite of everything that had happened.

"How are you feeling Katie?" Naomi asked, glad in a way to change the subject.

"I don't know if I'm honest. Numb I guess. I need to go home and change then I should go see Eff," she trailed off as she sat upright and moved over to the side of the bed, facing away from Naomi.

"Katie," Naomi started.

"Yeah?" Katie responded looking over her shoulder.

"We're here, remember that," the blonde said warmly as she reached over and squeezed Katie's hand.

"Thanks," Katie replied before standing and moving out of the room, closing the door behind her.

Naomi shifted back and wrapped both of her arms tightly around Emily, settling comfortably with her. She lay peacefully with her for a few minutes before she felt Emily's lips gently press against her neck.

"Morning," the redhead croaked out, her voice thick with sleep.

"Morning," Naomi smiled and pulled her closer.

"You are lovely," Emily replied as she began to kiss Naomi's neck again.

"I knew you were awake."

Emily shot up out of Naomi's arms and hovered above her, her hands resting on either side of the blonde's head. A look of confusion spread across her face.

"How did you know?" Emily questioned.

"Because I felt your heart hammering in your chest when I told Katie that I loved you more than anything," Naomi replied smiling as she watched Emily's eyes light up.

"I still think you are lovely," Emily whispered before lightly pressing her lips against Naomi's, then settling back down to the side of her.

"I forgot. I woke up this morning and for a split second I forgot," Naomi confessed.

"I know, me too."

"This will sound selfish but I just know that things are going to get crazy over the coming weeks. This is not how I imagined us spending the next few days before my mum comes home," Naomi mumbled.

"Let's spend another few minutes in our own bubble before we have to get up and face all of this. Deal?" Emily asked.

"Deal," the blonde agreed.

...

Emily raced up the garden path desperate to get inside from the rain. She fumbled around in her bag hurriedly looking for her keys to open the door. As she pushed her key into the lock she was surprised to find it unlocked.

"Naoms, it's me. Where are you?" she shouted into the hallway.

The redhead threw her bag down and shrugged off her heavy coat, glad to be back home.

"Babe, where are you?" she shouted again having received no reply the first time.

She pushed open the living room door and spotted the blonde sitting on the couch, smoking a cigarette. Emily leaned over the back of the couch and lightly kissed Naomi's cheek.

"Hey," she breathed into the blonde's skin. "I'm so glad to see you. Seeing Effy was hard today."

Naomi didn't reply, instead continuing to stare in front of her. Emily moved into the centre of the room and sat on the coffee table opposite Naomi.

"Naoms, you listening?"

Naomi snapped her head up and met Emily's eyes.

"Sorry," she whispered. "When you were with Katie and Effy, I went to see Cook."

Naomi put out her cigarette and began to fidget nervously with her lighter. Emily reached out and steadied her hand.

"How is he? What did he say?" The redhead quizzed.

Naomi sighed and sank her head down, staring at the floor.

"He said I've not to visit again, he doesn't want to see anyone again," she replied.

Emily reached over and tilted the blonde's head up to look at her.

"Talk to me Naomi," she urged.

"I can't," Naomi mumbled weakly.

"You can. Don't shut me out," Emily replied.

"I'm not, I promise. Remember when you asked me to be honest and tell you if I needed space, well I need some space to get my head around this."

"Okay," Emily whispered. "That's okay. I'll go to my mum's tonight or for a few days, whatever you need."

Naomi smiled and reached over, placing her hand on Emily's knee.

"No. A day or a few days is too much with you. I just need a few hours to myself. I'll go out for a bit, try to clear my head. Is that alright?" The blonde asked.

"Of course that's okay. You go and I'll be here waiting on you," Emily smiled.

"Thank you," Naomi said as she stood and kissed Emily on the cheek.

She turned around and headed for the door.

"Naomi."

"Yeah?" she replied, turning around to face Emily again.

"I love you," Emily said, smiling warmly.

"I know," Naomi replied before turning and heading out of the door.

...

Emily awoke to lips pressing against hers. She could taste the alcohol. Her eyes opened slowly and met Naomi's, glazed over.

"Hey," Naomi whispered before pushing her lips into Emily's again.

"Hey you," Emily mumbled against her lips whilst bringing her hands up and gently pushing on the blonde's shoulders, trying to get some distance between them.

Naomi took the hint and moved back, sitting cross legged on the floor. Emily shifted lightly on the couch and sat up, rubbing her neck where it had gotten sore from the awkward position she had fallen asleep in.

"You're drunk Naomi."

Naomi smiled back, feeling a little guilty. She had been gone for over four hours. At least Emily now knew where she was.

"Sorry," she mumbled.

"Where did you go?" Emily asked.

"Keith's. Reminds me of him," Naomi replied. "You not going to ask who I was with?"

"I trust you Naomi," Emily replied. "You had much to drink?"

"I was on my own. Drank a bottle of wine and a few vodkas."

"Guess you might have a sore head tomorrow then yeah?" Emily smiled.

"Yeah," Naomi grumbled.

"I'll look after you," Emily responded sympathetically.

"You always do," Naomi smiled back.

"When you want to talk Naoms, tell me."

"I will," the blonde replied, stretching her hand out for Emily to take. "But for now, take me to bed. I just want to go to sleep beside you and hide from this all for a little bit longer."


	23. Chapter 23

**Again thanks to all of those who read/review/add as favourite. Sorry that it has taken so long to get this chapter up.**

**It's a cold Winter night out there, so hopefully the end of this chapter will warm you up...**

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Emily had been awake for over an hour, sitting up in bed, absent mindedly flicking through the pages of a magazine. Eventually she threw the magazine on to the floor next to the bed and turned to look at the blonde next to her. Naomi lay on her stomach, her face buried into her pillow. Blonde hair wild and messy, splayed all around her. Emily leant over and placed her hand lightly on the other girl's back.

"Come on sleepy, time to get up," Emily said gently as she rubbed her hand across the smooth skin between Naomi's shoulders.

Naomi turned her head and opened her eyes narrowly, her face grimacing at the bright lights.

"Did you have to open the curtains?" Naomi groaned as she squeezed her eyes shut again.

"Feeling a little sore are we?" Emily replied, somewhat smugly.

Naomi sighed and nodded her head, her eyes still closed. She smiled slightly as she felt Emily's fingers run softly over her cheek and her warm lips press quickly against her forehead.

"Mmm, that helps a little," Naomi murmured.

"These will help more, sit up," Emily instructed as she passed a glass of water and painkillers to Naomi who was reluctantly pulling herself up.

"Thanks babe," Naomi said as she leant over to kiss Emily.

"Nuh uh," Emily said as she pulled away from Naomi. "You were sick last night. You aren't getting anywhere near my mouth until yours is all minty fresh."

"Fuck," Naomi said as she swallowed the painkillers and gulped down the water. "Must've had a lot more than I thought."

"You were gone," Emily confirmed.

Naomi placed the empty glass on the bedside table and sank back down onto her pillow, pulling the covers back over her cold body.

"I'm sorry," she whispered to Emily, reaching out for her hand.

"It's ok. You were quite apologetic last night in the bathroom as I held your hair back."

"Urgh. You must love me. I'm really sorry Em," Naomi said in a small voice as she squeezed Emily's hand tighter.

"Go clean your teeth babe and then you can give me a good morning kiss," Emily replied.

Naomi nodded and climbed out of bed, somewhat unsteadily. She looked around the floor for her clothes, trying to find something to pull on as she was cold.

"Here, take this," Emily said throwing a t shirt in her direction.

Naomi shot her a puzzled look.

"Your clothes are in the washing machine," Emily clarified.

Naomi sighed again and pulled the t shirt over her body. She could feel her cheeks burning with embarrassment as she moved out of the room and dragged her body to the bathroom. The tiles were freezing cold against her feet. She almost gagged at the strong mint as she put the toothbrush in her mouth and began to scrub. Her face looked pale and weary in the mirror. She filled a cup with water to rinse her mouth out before leaving the bathroom and trudging back to the bedroom. She stood in the doorway and watched Emily, her beautiful Emily, sitting up in bed reading a magazine.

"Hey," Emily greeted her. "All clean?"

Naomi nodded in response.

"Well come back to bed then, you look freezing," Emily smiled as she pulled the covers up at one side.

Naomi walked over and climbed back into their bed, shivering, pulling the covers around her body. Emily turned to face her and moved in to kiss her gently. She lifted her arm and put it round Naomi's shoulders, pulling her into her side. Naomi slinked down and pressed herself up against Emily, trying to warm herself up.

"You can help me do the crossword," Emily said, returning her gaze to the magazine.

"It's Heat magazine Em. The crossword is hardly taxing, it's pointless z-list celebrity nonsense," Naomi replied.

"As true as that is babe, your brain can hardly handle anything else this morning."

"Can we talk Em?" Naomi spoke up, changing the subject.

Emily paused. She put the magazine down and settled back into the pillows slightly, one hand squeezing Naomi close to her and the other playing with blonde strands of hair.

"Yeah, course we can. Just didn't think you'd be ready to this morning," Emily replied.

"You're just so nice to me Em, despite me coming home drunk and throwing up everywhere you're so nice. I don't know why I pushed you out yesterday. I shouldn't have."

"Tell me what's going on up here then," Emily urged as she lightly tapped her fingers against Naomi's head.

"Cook's a mess Em. A real mess. He just sat crying. He's totally fucking distraught. It tore me up seeing him like that, I felt like someone had stabbed me and I couldn't breathe. He said he hates himself for fucking people around, he hates himself for the state of his friendship with Freds. He's gonna be stuck in that place on his own for months, if not years. And it's down to me."

"Naoms, it's not down to you," Emily said trying to offer reassurance.

"But it is. He took the wrap for me selling the drugs to Sophia," Naomi sighed. She hated mentioning that girl's name.

"Babe, that's not all he's in there for."

"I know," the blonde whispered in response. "I just feel guilty and it brings it all back."

Emily shifted uncomfortably.

"See now I know that you're thinking about it too."

"Yeah," Emily confirmed.

"I'm not naive enough to think that things will suddenly become perfect between us Emily and I know this will have a hold over us but I guess my feelings over Cook are just heightening it," Naomi confessed.

"I know things won't become perfect between us suddenly, but I'm really trying. You need to try. I'm finding this hard too Naomi and we can't fall apart just because everything around us has. If anything it's a reason for us to try harder right now," the redhead whispered the last words.

"I know. I don't want to fuck this up. Here I am, three days in and I'm not doing very well," Naomi said as she brought her hands up to her face, covering her eyes.

Emily immediately reached out and pulled Naomi's hands away from her face.

"I need you to talk to me and stop shutting down. Getting fucked up is not the way of dealing with this and I need you to promise that you won't push me out. Don't push other people out either. You need to stop hiding from this and go see Effy. She's hurting the most. "

"I'm so sorry. I don't ever want to push you out," Naomi mumbled as she gripped Emily's hands tighter.

"Just remember that I need you," Emily said with a slight smile.

"I know," Naomi sighed. "This is not how I imagined spending these last few days before my mum comes home."

"How did you imagine them?" Emily asked, as she settled down onto her side, wrapping her arms around Naomi's neck, pulling her down beside her.

Naomi kissed Emily's lips quickly and moved back, leaving their foreheads pressed together. She stared into Emily's eyes and spoke softly.

"Kissing you awake every morning. Telling you how beautiful you are. Planning our trip to Goa. Getting excited about it with you. Talking with you. Touching you. Making you feel good. Just being with you. In our own little world, no one else."

"You're such a girl Naomi," Emily said playfully. " Next you'll be telling me you want to share candle lit baths with me," Emily smiled.

Naomi blushed.

"You do don't you?" The redhead laughed.

"Maybe," Naomi replied, blush creeping further over her neck.

"You're so cute at times, you know that," Emily said as she kissed the blonde's cheek gently.

"Yeah well, only for you."

"You know you've got to see Effy?" Emily said changing the subject.

"Yeah," Naomi sighed in response.

"Do you want me to come with you?"

"It's something I should do on my own."

"Ok," Emily smiled.

"I'd better shower. I can't go looking like this," Naomi said gesturing to her dishevelled state.

"Come on then, I'll go make us breakfast."

...

"Hey Eff," Naomi said gently as she sat on the end of the bed.

Effy didn't move or acknowledge her prescence. She sat staring straight ahead of her. Her eyes cold and lifeless, no redness or visible signs of shed tears.

"How are you?" Naomi mumbled. "Fuck stupid question, ignore that."

Naomi began to fidget with her fingers and bit her lip nervously.

"Eff, you've got to help me out here, I'm shit at this."

"You are," Effy replied, turning to look at Naomi.

"Well that's a start Eff. Your mum says you've not spoken in two days."

"Nothing to say," Effy replied.

"That's not true," Naomi said as she reached out and took Effy's hand.

"Ok, well nothing I want to say right now," Effy corrected.

"Your mum's worried, she wants you to go back to the hospital," the blonde said cautiously.

"I'm not going back there. They are all fucking mental. I'm not like them, I'm not!" Effy snapped.

"Ok."

"I'm taking my medication again. I'm not going to go mad or try to kill myself. They are worried because I'm not talking but what they don't understand is that I have nothing to say right now. I'm still trying to take it in," Effy admitted.

"I get the not wanting to talk thing. I do. But when you want to talk, we'll listen," Naomi replied.

Effy smiled and felt Naomi's hand squeeze hers gently. She quickly retracted it and cleared her throat.

"What about you? Declarations of love in front of us all. Grand gestures and tickets to paradise," Effy smirked.

Naomi rolled her eyes.

"Yeah you got me."

"Happy then?" Effy questioned.

"Very," Naomi responded quickly.

"All fucked out?"

"Effy!" Naomi exclaimed. "Come on that's personal."

"Surely you knew your little admission would get you back in her good books and get you laid," Effy said with a slight laugh.

"Well yeah, I hoped it would," Naomi grinned. "We have got a long way to go though. And I keep fucking things up, came in really drunk last night. Feeling slightly ill today. I went to see Cook yesterday."

"I know."

"Emily told you?" Naomi questioned.

"No Cook. He called," Effy replied.

"Oh. I thought he doesn't want to speak to people," Naomi said confused.

"Not just now, but he will."

"Like you then," Naomi replied with a slightly sarcastic tone.

"You're the only person who's spoken to me without patronising me or trying to wheel me off to the nut house. I don't want everyone's sympathy I'm not dead," Effy stated in a matter of fact way.

"I know what you feel," the blonde admitted.

"Guilt."

...

Naomi quietly opened the front door and stared at the clock in the hall. 10pm. She'd been with Effy for hours, not talking about anything in particular but just keeping her occupied and staying with her until she eventually fell asleep, exhausted. Emily was upstairs sleeping, she'd sent a text earlier on saying that she felt tired and wanted an early night. Naomi felt bad knowing that she was the reason Emily was so tired.

She climbed the stairs and gently pushed open the bedroom door, peering over to the other girl who was sleeping soundly on their bed. Naomi smiled as she thought how beautiful Emily was as she slept. She closed the door behind her and undressed quickly in the dark before slipping under the covers and moving towards Emily, wrapping an arm over her small frame from behind. She settled her lips against Emily's shoulder.

"Hey," Emily whispered into the darkness, facing away from the blonde.

Naomi stiffened and then pressed another delicate kiss to the redhead's shoulder.

"Sorry, I was trying not to wake you," Naomi said quietly.

"It's ok, I don't think I would have slept properly anyway knowing you weren't home," Emily replied.

Naomi's fingers instinctively sought out the soft skin of Emily's toned stomach, quickly pushing the material of her t shirt higher so that she could trace patterns. She heard Emily gasp slightly at the contact and moved her hand further up.

"Feeling restless babe?" Naomi asked as she began to place kisses along Emily's neck.

"Yeah," Emily breathed out.

Naomi's lips curved into a smile at the reaction. She began to move her hand further underneath the material of Emily's t shirt, covering her breast fully with one hand. Emily moaned and turned her head slightly to meet Naomi's lips forcefully.

"Jesus," Naomi mumbled in between kisses.

Emily reached her arm around and grabbed the back of Naomi's head, tangling her fingers in her hair. She pushed her back into Naomi's body and groaned. The blonde smiled against Emily's lips and pushed her tongue out to massage Emily's. She felt Emily's hand leave her hair and search for her own, pulling it quickly out from her top. Naomi was confused until Emily pushed her hand further down, just below her stomach.

"Please," Emily breathed out hungrily, her lips still attached to Naomi's.

Naomi smiled and moved her head back from Emily's so that she could meet her eyes. They were darkened. Emily tried to lift her head and kiss Naomi, but the blonde moved back further.

"No," Naomi said firmly.

Emily's brow furrowed in confusion.

"I want to watch you," Naomi spoke as she slid her fingers into the other girl's underwear quickly finding a slick heat.

Emily's eyes widened as her girlfriend's fingers began to explore. She lifted one leg up further and leant back into Naomi to give her more access to where she wanted her.

"Jesus Ems, you're so wet," Naomi mumbled biting her lip.

The redhead gasped as Naomi quickly entered her and built up a steady rhythm.

"I've been waiting for you to come home to do that," Emily said, her voice husky.

Naomi smiled and leant down to kiss Emily who responded sloppily. She knew that it wasn't going to take Emily long – it never does when she's that worked up. Naomi continued to move her fingers strongly, responding to every gasp and moan from the redhead. Her thumb began to quickly circle outside, causing Emily's hips to buck.

"Faster," Emily breathed out desperately.

Naomi obeyed and quickened her motions. She moved her head back to look at Emily's eyes again, only to find them scrunched shut.

"Open them," Naomi urged. "I want to watch you."

Just as she said that she felt Emily tighten around her fingers and her body twitch uncontrollably. Emily moaned deeply before closing her eyes and steadying her body.

Naomi smiled and kissed her forehead.

"You're so beautiful Emily."

Emily lay breathless but moved her hand down to gently pull Naomi's away. She took it and linked her fingers with it. Her body moved slightly so that she was fully on her side, facing away from the blonde.

"I love you," she whispered, squeezing Naomi's hand tighter.

Naomi smiled and kissed the back of her head, breathing in the scent of her hair.

"Naoms?" Emily asked in a tired voice.

"Yeah?" The blonde replied.

"If that's what you meant by kissing me awake, then please do it every morning," Emily said with a light laugh.

Naomi smiled and snuggled in closer to her.


	24. Chapter 24

**Hello! It's been a long time since I've updated, unfortunately I don't have much free time due to work. Thanks to everyone who reads and especially those that leave reviews. I wish this chapter was a bit happier...**

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Naomi stood and watched Emily's face in the mirror, applying the final touches to her makeup. The red head felt eyes on her and glanced upwards, looking at the blonde standing behind her.

"What?" she asked in a toneless voice.

"You look pretty," Naomi offered with a gentle smile.

"I don't think that's appropriate," Emily replied before turning her full attention back to her own reflection.

The blonde sighed and shuffled awkwardly around the room, trying to avoid the growing tension. She didn't know what was so inappropriate about her compliment. It was true; Emily did look nice in her simple black shift dress, drawn in at the waist with a thin belt. She looked grown up, Naomi thought.

"What time is it?" Emily asked.

"Half 10," Naomi responded.

Emily lifted her eyes again and met Naomi's in the mirror, "Still got an hour then."

"Do you want breakfast?"

"Just coffee. I'm so fucking tired. You tossed and turned all night. I've barely slept."

"You should have woken me," Naomi said guiltily.

Emily ignored her and continued to apply mascara. The blonde walked over and leant down behind the smaller girl.

"I'm sorry," she whispered softly as she pressed a kiss to her cheek.

Emily's hand slipped slightly and causing her mascara brush to smear a thick black line to the side of her eye.

"Fuck sake Naoms, look what you've made me do," she snapped.

Naomi quickly handed her a pack of makeup wipes then turned on her heel, heading towards the bedroom door.

"I'll go get that coffee shall I?" she asked quietly.

"Yeah do that. See if you can do something right this morning," Emily replied coldly.

Naomi sighed and closed the bedroom door behind her, heading out into the hallways and down the stairs. She heard the radio in the kitchen and pushed the door open to reveal her mum sitting at the table, reading the newspaper.

"Morning love," Gina said, lifting her head slightly.

"Morning mum," Naomi replied as she moved past her, towards the kettle flicking the switch.

"You look nice," the older woman said.

Naomi turned to face her mother and raised her eyebrow.

"I feel like a convict or something, hardly me is it?" she gestured to her clothes.

She wore a crisp white blouse tucked neatly into a black pencil skirt, a patent black belt across her waist. A far cry from her usual choice of attire.

"You look respectful Naomi. Like I said, nice," Gina smiled.

Naomi began to spoon coffee granules into a cup. She tapped her foot impatiently as she waited for the kettle to boil.

"Are you allowed to say that mum?" Naomi asked looking towards her mother over her shoulder.

"Say what?" Gina responded in confusion.

"That I look nice. Just Emily practically bit my head off when I told her the same thing upstairs," the younger woman shrugged before turning and filling the cup with water.

"Come sit down love," her mother commanded.

"Mum if this is going to be a lecture, can you spare it. I really don't need it this morning," Naomi said rolling her eyes as she sat down.

"I don't think Emily is dealing with this as well as you'd thought," Gina stated cautiously.

"She's been fine until this morning mum. I know she didn't sleep too well last night, that's all this is." Naomi knew that wasn't the truth, and she knew that her mother would confirm it wasn't.

"Come on, do you really think it's just that? Speak to her. You're so bloody clever Naomi, yet so bloody stupid at the same time."

"Thanks mum," Naomi replied sarcastically.

"Think about it Naomi. That girl's mother has pretty much turned her back on her. She doesn't have the support from her family that she needs right now. She's told you she's ok, but is she?"

Gina reached across and placed her hand over her daughter's, squeezing it sympathetically.

"Fuck. I really am stupid at times," Naomi sighed. She shifted uncomfortably in her chair.

"Go on love, take that coffee up to her and listen, don't just pretend everything's fine."

"Ok. Thanks mum," she smiled sincerely.

Naomi stood up and carried the cup of coffee carefully upstairs. She stopped outside of the bedroom and took a deep breath before tentatively opening the door. Emily sat on the edge of the bed, facing away from her.

"Fuck sake, stupid thing," the red head cursed as she fiddled with the clasp on her bracelet.

Naomi sat the cup on the bedside table and moved round to kneel down in front of Emily.

"Let me," she whispered as she gently pulled the smaller girl's hand towards her.

She fastened the bracelet and turned Emily's hand over, squeezing her fingers.

"There you are," Naomi said softly.

Emily met her gaze and mouthed a 'thank you' before moving her head down. The blonde reached out and tilted her head upwards. Emily's eyes glistened with unshed tears.

"Hey," Naomi smiled. "Are you going to talk to me about this?"

Emily closed her eyes and allowed the tears to escape down her face.

"Come here," Naomi urged, pulling the red head towards her. "It's ok to cry you know."

"I'm sorry," Emily sobbed against her shoulder. "I'm sorry for being such a bitch to you this morning."

"It's ok," the blonde replied in a soothing tone, running her fingers through the red locks. "Tell me what's wrong."

Emily pulled back and met her gaze.

"I'm finding this hard," she admitted. "I'm trying to keep it together. For you... for Katie...for everyone. I don't know how much longer I can keep it up. I'm exhausted."

Naomi bit her lip nervously. She felt her own eyes begin to fill up and a wave of guilt creep over her. Emily looked so fragile in front of her. So weak. She'd been so wrapped up in herself over the last two weeks, worrying about Cook and her own guilt that she'd forgotten that Emily might need her.

"I can't believe I've been such a prick," Naomi mumbled.

"What?" Emily replied, shocked.

"I've been the shittest girlfriend ever over these last few weeks. I'm so sorry," the blonde said, reaching out and stroking the other girl's cheek.

"You've not been shit," Emily answered, shaking her head slightly.

"Ems, I can't believe I didn't stop to think of the impact all of this would have on you."

Emily reached up and pulled Naomi's hand from her face, holding it between her own. She looked at her girlfriend sadly.

"I don't know if I can handle today Naoms. I've never been to a funeral before. I don't know what to do. I'm scared that I'll breakdown."

"I didn't realise Em," Naomi began sympathetically. " You're always so strong; I just assumed you'd be ok today. You're allowed to cry. It's ok to cry. I'll be with you every step."

"I don't think I can stay afterwards," Emily mumbled weakly.

"That's ok too. We can see how you feel and if you want to go home, then you can," Naomi said reassuringly.

"I don't want to be on my own Nai."

"You won't be, I'll come with you babe."

"I've ruined your shirt. It's got more mascara on it than my face," Emily laughed as she wiped at her tears with her hands.

"It's ok. My coat will cover it. Come on, let's clean you up."

Naomi stood up , pulling Emily with her and led her towards the bathroom.

...

Naomi had lay behind Emily while she slept. Emily was emotionally exhausted after Freddie's funeral and didn't want to stay long at the wake. She managed an hour, exchanging brief pleasantries with other mourners then sitting in a comforting silence with her friends. Katie stuck by Effy's side throughout the whole thing. Effy wasn't there. She was in a trance, there in body but not in mind. Katie was being strong for them all and urged Naomi to take her sister home when she seen how exhausted she was.

Naomi felt stirring in front of her and lent over, pressing a gentle kiss to the red head's clothed shoulder.

"How are you feeling babe?" she whispered against the material.

Emily rolled over and smiled at Naomi.

"Better," she said yawning.

Naomi reached out and tucked stray hairs behind Emily's ear.

"You look like that sleep has done you the world of good."

"It has," Emily nodded in agreement. " I feel a bit crampy though."

"That time?"

"Yeah. Suppose that's why I finally cracked this morning. Emotions and hormones don't mix very well," the red head admitted.

"Let me help," Naomi offered. "Turn round again."

Emily rolled onto her side and Naomi shuffled up behind her, sliding her arm protectively over her waist. Her fingers lifted the material of Emily's pyjama top and her hand began to move soothingly over her stomach. It was something Naomi often did when Emily felt unwell.

"That helping?" the blonde asked quietly.

"Mmm hmm," Emily murmered. "Your hand's nice and warm."

"Do you want to do something tonight? We can go out, we could order food or we could just watch a film here or something?" Naomi asked softly, burying her face in Emily's hair and breathing in her scent.

"Can we just hang out? You and me Naoms. I feel like we've not done that in a long time."

"Sure," Naomi smiled to herself.

"I've been thinking, about Goa," Emily said changing the subject. Her tone slightly different.

"Yeah, it's only a month off babe."

Naomi felt Emily's stomach tighten against her hand.

"Do you think maybe we should stay here?"

"Are you being serious?" The blonde stopped her hand and sat up on her side to meet Emily's gaze.

"Katie needs me. I can't leave now," Emily said sadly.

"Emily will you stop being so selfless for a minute. It's your dream to travel. We're going."

"It's not your dream though," the red head sighed.

"It is my dream," Naomi said, her tone convincing.

Emily shook her head, "Come on, you know it's not."

"It is," the blonde stated firmly. "I want to be with you. That's my dream. It doesn't matter where that is. Be it travelling around the world or still here in Bristol. I want to be with you."

"You're very sweet when you want to be," Emily smiled.

"I love you, that's why," Naomi said as she pressed a kiss to Emily's forehead before settling back down behind her.

"I know you do Naomi, I felt it today."

"Yeah?" the blonde questioned.

"You really looked after me. I know that wasn't easy for you, it wasn't easy for any of us but you really held me together."

Naomi smiled and pulled Emily tighter to her.

"So, Goa," the blonde began, her tone lighterr. "One month to go. A lot of things to sort out."

"Do you think we'll manage two months without arguing?" Emily asked, giggling.

"Fuck no. We'll probably fall out on the plane."


End file.
